when i woke up this morning i blew my nose and ash came out.. i'm not sure what to make of this.
A good ear swabbing is more orgasmic than sex with him
we made malted milkshakes. malt as in malt liqour.
I don't think you have the libido for two women at the same time
I think you underestimate the amount of time spent masturbating
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
All I remember is running out of the bathroom with one shoe on and the other in my hand. Pretty sure I was yelling as well.
I like to think I'd be good at dodging genitalia.
I had to run home with my hands covering my tits this morning. How does this keep happening?
The cat just walked up and made eye contact with me while I had sex. I'm going to have to burn the house down with him in it.
Shroomed with my best friend'a dad at his wife's surprise birthday party so you can say I have experience in the field
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
You declared your undying love to a drag queen, then proceeded to puke into the poor man's purse.
Do you remember the bathroom attendant when he put out his hand for a tip and you gave him a high five?
I'm done, I have no more memes or ways to ask for nudes, so yeah
yknow last night was like... the third night in a row alex woke me up to make sure i wasn't dead and tbh it's sorta sweet.
You were in the girls bathroom yelling at some random chick because you thought she stole all the urinals. That's why you were kicked out.
Why is there a whip in the kitchen?
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