Locked eyes w/ her at mainstreet, and said 'yeah yeah get it!' From there we started violently making out on the dancefloor (I had a FULL boner, ps) and then I got her number
You're so easy to please, it's adorable. Like an alcoholic puppy.
I've now graduated to the level of gay where I can tell Tegan and Sara apart.
"Whiskey Cheerios" was a terribly great idea.
You did a jig for the bouncer when you saw him. Just reminding you.
She just called to say she can support a full bottle of vodka between "the girls" now. I'm going over, don't try and stop me.
I haven't seen him since I gave him a hand job in the hospital. I like to think I contributed to his speedy recovery.
Sry I came all over your dress. Think of it as a Vegas souvenir.
Of course I will... FYI I just gave my balls a crew cut.
Do you always skip to "Baby Got Back" when fat girls show up at the bar?
There's weed in my toothpaste. Explain.
Dude, you GARGLED with bleu cheese last night!
I ended up in th ER yelling my height weight and age
Do you remember feeding the vacuum doritos last night?
It's like his penis moved in and did some interior decorating without telling me first...
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