Remember that sex scene from American Psycho?
Ya, why?
We should try that some time.
I haven't been laid since Bush was president.
Puked in a plastic neiman Marcus bag while driving. My biggest accomplishment yet
There r osticjed everywhere
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
You were sitting in the tub, clothed, squirting my KY all over yourself. You said "it's warm." then passed out.
Half way through sex he whispered in my ear, " your the second best I've ever had" then proceeded to tell me to sit on his face.
Not much, just taking another sorting hat quiz while waiting for this porno to finish buffering
Yeah. I made eggs in a microwave. I think that's an accomplishment this week, MOM.
All the drunken hookups over the last year are self destructing, at least something is keeping nursing school interesting
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
I just remembered that you tried to trade me for a glass of wine
I mean it's a good blow job, but it's not worth the four hour round trip.
Just used the handle end of a spatula to get the baggie of coke wedged between my passenger seat. Innovation points?
That was the night I realized I need to grow up and stop eating mushrooms with strange 40 year old men in convertibles.
I learned so much in Pittsburgh
DESTROY DICK DECEMBER\nTHE SUN SHINES ON THE THIRSTY
I'll give you some leg action but I'm not showing you anything else until your penis admits it loves me
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