Me too ba-by. I wanna bite your ear lobes they are so fat.
and then she said I drew a line on her forehead with my cum and whispered "Simba"
Its like im going on a blind date, but ive already had sex with her
I just told someone i was in "addition and subtraction 160".......and they believed me.
I havent jerked off in so long, my dick literally prevented me from rolling over in my sleep this morning. new definition of painful?
I mean, I'm all about sharing, but when he tells me about his wet dreams about Oprah, I think it's taking it too far.
He told his ice cream cone it 'looked cute' and then started to cry. The Dairy Queen people were not pleased.
I'm out of mixers so I am using sugar water. Times are tough.
Why is my drynk life bleeding into my real life
Well I'm currently debating between getting toilet paper or getting my eyebrows waxed so... There's that
I planned on emotionally scarring him for life this weekend. DAMN YOU PERIOD!
i just thought a plastic bag was my cat. i just pet a plastic bag. that high.
Babe, holding my hair while i blow you doesn't count as being romantic
This is your post bachelor party survival text. This a free and complementary service to make sure you are still alive. For alive, say yes. For hurting, say ugh. If lost, say help. If dead, please feel free to not respond. Thank you and we hope you enjoyed the party.
Alcohol and video games. A solid Friday night. Even before covid
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