there is a polo shirt epidemic at this bar. also, im pretty sure i just saw the grown-up coppertone baby
And it was confirmed to me that I did in fact cut my girlfriend out of her dress with my sword.
Drunk. I slept-stripped.
By myself.
Well as our DD it was my responsibility to get us home safely. If that meant strapping you down to the backseat using all 3 seatbelts then so be it.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
Umm, ya, half our class is sitting in starbucks passing around flasks. Yes, flasks. Plural. Going to join them, we're all giving oral presentations in 20. Go hard or go home.
We proceeded to buy tattoos from the dollar store and interpretive dance to of monsters and men, it's safe to say he's my new fuck buddy
You haven't lived until you've watched a retriever try to bring back the condom you just threw in its master's garbage
He was humming "here comes Peter cottontail" while unbuttoning his pants. Happy Easter to me
I'm just gonna yell "SURPRISE ME" and see what happens. No way this could go wrong
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
The memory of your penis haunts me. I must learn to be satisfied with lesser men than you.
I am 5' 11" of pure, uncut Fuck Off right now.
I just spontaneously learned how to embroider at three in the morning.
I also almost burned the house down in the process. Don't ask me how. It's a long story.
I just want to be like "i dont know you but ive seen your penis & i like it"
When do you estimate your next shower will be? Several people have asked.
Let the clothes fall where they may.
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