let's makeout let's makeout let's make out let's make out
so how does one go about finding a summer fling?
take advantage of an intern
So we walked by this chick's house and she starts yelling at her boyfriend "STOP HITTING ME WITH YOUR DICK"
He called me from prison intake to wish me luck on my job interview. Somehow that's the most romantic thing that's ever happened to me.
I was unaware that a tutu and pasties was appropriate attire to this
apparently he thought telling me 'the weasel wants to come out to play' would somehow convince me to go down on him
I've wasted nicer days than this hungover and dry heaving in bed.
which guy lost his keys in my bed this weekend?
thanks for piggy backing me around for the rest of the night when I got too drunk to stand.
When that wave blew your top off I heard someone yell "SPANK BANK"
As a former fat girl, that's probably the best compliment I've ever received ever!
I just want to eat Taco Bell and throw it up on his doorstep.
There are grandparents doing keg stands I don't know
His pet bird was perched ON HIS DICK.
I know you want to take a pregnancy test, but could you wait until Sunday so it doesn't ruin our weekend
I think my stomach is breaking up with me. It's giving me back everything I ever gave it.
Randomize
