My bed smells like naked
Haha. At least it doesn't smell like herpes
Nah, lets use your guy, my drug dealer is going all pineapple express on me
enterprise is going to pick me up, im too high for this
I woke up face down on my laptop with three windows open: itunes, chat roulette and redtube
he's washing the lighter in the sink and telling me to picture unicorns. requesting backup.
Chasing shots by shotgunning beers is not a good idea.
All I remember is doing a naked tuck and roll of your bed.
The last thing I remember is feeding country fried steak to my best friend in a bubble bath with my bare hands.
He left npr on the whole time when we were doing it. ironic that i lost it on the 100th anniversary of the titanic. thanks michelle norris.
One day, tell me please to stop buying shots when I'm overwhelmed. I might have just broken a tooth
Spring Fling is on 420. The theme better be 'Flower Child'.
I want there to be fog machines and unicorns.
No joke, I just found $85 on the ground. Must be because I bought you all that liquor. So much good karma.
Figured out how I got so much alcohol in my hair: tried to drink my drink using my cleavage as a cup holder. Missed my drink hole and got it all in my hair
I apologize for there being a shopping cart in the living room. I don't know how why or where i got it.
remind me again why we thought drinking hungarian moonshine was a good idea
Randomize
