I'm trying to bond with my sister... Its like getting to know a person I never met that I don't like
Getting high on the stoop of a brownstone in the middle oh harlem. Doesn't get much more hey arnold than this.
I just watched a video of Justin Bieber kissing a girl..... the sad thing is that I actually got upset.
Be here at 3:30. We'll find out how much beer can fit in a Mini Cooper.
I need like a hormone stopper. Or a chastity belt. Or like a lady business alarm that goes off when I'm being too drunk.
WHY DIDN'T YOU INVITE ME TO RUN THROUGH TACO BELL'S SPRINKLERS AT 4AM?!
New rule for Thursdays: no high gymnastics
I put xanax in the cake batter
Did you really? It all makes sense now.
Just had a serious discussion with my ex-boyfriend about sexy nurse vs. sexy teacher. So score one for friendship I guess.
I still have the video of you three making soup in my kitchen and asking random people for permission DURING the party, not after like usually
Don't remember, didn't happen
I HAVE THE VIDEO YOU DICK IT HAPPENED
Slept at my ex's best friends house while my ex was locked out and I walked by him sleeping in his car this am
Life without a bra equals bliss.
Need a Dr's note to excuse me from blowjobs for 3-6 weeks while my jaw heals..
dude you know how i got totally hammered and lost my phone at some frat when i came to visit you two months ago? yeah well someone mailed it back to me in minnesota.. with a picture of a cock as the screen savor
My Mormon mother just found a butt-plug in our AirBnB closet.
Randomize