That can be our thanksgiving, vodka and cornbread. Just like the pilgrims.
just mention it in a side comment sometime today... like oh by the way i have a daughter but um yeah my day was good
ive got a scarf tied around my face holding bags of hashbrowns to it, im too boss to care
This theraflu would make for a great margarita.
I can make a sudafedarita
As i was walking home this morning some old lady was walking her dog and i said hello to her as our paths in life met, then i proceeded to puke in someones front yard and never looked back
Also, any YOLOwl-related sex photos will result in you winning ten orgasms, courtesy of myself, as well as sweets and bacon-based dinner. All entrants welcome
Jsyk, in serious talks of trading blowjobs for soup in bed. I'm sober
Yes ma'am.Im also looking at my collection of penis pictures in my email playing "who;s penis is that"?
Noo.... Like in the attic of a crack house with nitrous and fat chicks weird....
I feel like parents watching our children. You want to step in and help them but you just have to let them make their mistakes
I asked him to change the channel. There was no way I could do reverse cowgirl with golf on.
He made me a flamingo drink and now I don't know why things are the way they are.
holy shit I was not prepared for her to whip out that dildo
I'm still here... I feel so bad wearing your mom's cardigan at a strip club 🙈
I realized today that the only things I'm guaranteed to have with me at all times are lipgloss, condoms and a USB drive. hmmm...
Randomize
