I slayed a troll last night at BC guess i thought i was back in college
why is it impossible to run with a back pack without looking like a giant d-bag?
haha... you gave me a great visual of you in high white socks running with a backpack with eye of the tiger playing in the background
that only happened once.
You gave him head? He fingered you? A little bit of make out?
WHAT THE FUCK ITS LIKE YOU WERE THERE
just opened a can of spagetti o's with a butter knife. the things u will do for food when ur stoned.
Worst part of St. Paddy's...me drunkenly crying to a U2 cover band.
no seriously. she's even got the premier of the real L word on her calendar at work. that lesbian.
vodka bottle broke. scooping it out of the plastic tub with a shot glass into a sprite bottle using a ziplock bag as a funnel and straining the glass out with paper towels. good thursday night?
I'm doing this for my boobs. They miss him.
So im on with some ukrainian stripper for a vodka tasting tomorrow. If I die tell my family im awesome
All i know if I'm throwing uo into a bag with a smiley facE on it right now and this is not a smileuy face time right nowe
It's like some sort of initiation to finger one of them... so I did it. And got high fived afterwards like a dozen times.
Those were right hand only?
Chugging this bottle of Jim at the airport is proving more difficult than I imagined. TSA is not amused.
On another note, I almost lost one side of my fake butt. Dancing the wobble with the fake butt isn't recommend.
We're meant to be. Apparently God wants me to get dicked down pretty good too so I'm not complaining about destiny
I was giving him head and he slipped one of those hats with propellors on top on my head.
Randomize
