thx for the lesson on dirrty dancing
i dont think there is any level of not caring that i havent covered in the last month
That's cool, I just have to let the dogs out AND SO HELP ME GOD IF YOU TEXT ME BAHA MEN LYRICS WE ARE NOT FRIENDS.
at this point every shot is just a haymaker to my liver
just walked past the recycling bin in class, there's keystone cans in it. go cougs.
That was an excessively violent trivia night
I just pulled a piece of cookie out of my bra in the middle of class. I'm forever alone.
I've decided that my night was probably over when I started eating the penne vodka with my hands.
How do I go about messaging a girl on a dating site whose little sister I've had a three some with...?
She just told me she thinks she bruised her labia in class
What am I doing with my life
Sleeping with dudes who have peacocks apparently.
He walked into the bar, took a deep sniff and said "this place is fertile and ready for my seed" then calmly walked to the service area
he's smothering me... and not in the good, can you move your thigh off my face please?.. way
ya I went to the grocery store literally just for cheese and condoms
When the people downstairs start talking about drugs, I second guess buying my drugs from them. Then I remember they are cheap and convenient.
Randomize
