someone is gonna have my baby tonight. they just dont know it yet
I'll alert the authorities
something must definitely be wrong with me if i'm chasing after a guy who cant even get it up
i'm sorry for cheering you on when you were making out with him. i was just celebrating the fact he was decent looking for once
i wont go near him until the smell goes away , and he takes the chex mix box off his head.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
Sober Sundays just aren't working out anymore.
they won't let me drive with my sombrero
I'm crying, drinking alone and applying for jobs tonight. I figure the alcohol will lower my job standards.
Those titties aren't worth a lifetime of listening to her talk about gluten free yams and japanese manga.
I've never been to a "going away to jail" cookout. do we bring a present?
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
I'm pretty sure I just crapped out my pancreas. I have 2 of those, right?
I still have way too many Frat houses to get blackout drunk at before I'm get in any type of relationship
she cut her forehead open playing a drunken game of pin the tail on the donkey and now she's having a panic attack.
Just delivered a pizza to a holiday inn and a delivery driver from Me n Ed's walked up at the same time, we both were going to the same floor so we stood in the elevator making small talk about delivery stuff, but a small part of me wanted to deck him, stand over him and shout,"FOR THE HUT MOTHERFUCKER, FOR THE HUT!"
Jesus christ, don't start a pizza delivery gang war.
Smoking weed with a blind guy, don't worry he's chill.
I just walked in on her masturbating to a social anxiety video...
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