Omg my grandpa just told me he wants to die in his 90's shot by a jealous husband
thats it. im googling how to make you boobs smaller. this is getting out of control.
operation "beaches make me wet" is a go
How long after st. Patrick's day is it ok to shit green before I should seek medicial attention?
I came over to his house for a party and realized I was quoted on the fridge... "How'd I get rug burn on my face?" And yes, my name was right next to it!
Judging by her face, I'd say she's at least dabbled with meth...
Well now that I've given all the athletes mono there goes our chance of winning any conference championship
I can't look at him without thinking about his cum face
So basically, I've just woken up in another random bed and I go to get my pants and he's wearing them. Like my underwear is in them... What the fuck is wrong with my life?
It feels like my uterus is trying to crawl out of my ass wearing cleats. And yourself?
Im gonna take a shit then figure out how to be better at basketball
Yeah, he hid all the toilet paper and took a video of me looking for it before I shit my pants. Definitely playing that clip at our wedding.
i just passed i guy i once let listen to me masterbate on the phone...nyc is not big enough
Here when you come to your senses come back here and I'll fuck you back out of them.
yeah i'm making him "thanks for letting me befriend your toilet" cookies. wanna help? i'm sure you'll be making new friends too.
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