Also my back is semi rug burned and I'm holding you fully responsible.
I would love to give you more rug burn
this dieting is killing me...just started drooling watching a dog food commercial
you were carrying around a glass of vodka telling everyone it was Russian water
Mission leave-the-puke-on-the-floor-til-the-dog-eats-it completed. I work smarter not harder
Found plan b box covered with blood. In kitchen sick. Pickle jar is empty. Wtf happened?
We bonded over blowjobs and stories of our childhoods. It was beautiful.
When a man can't even pay attention to you when you're telling him about how big his penis is, there's something wrong
You were being mean. And telling everyone to suck your six inch strap on. People were not pleased
Please be lying.
Im not. Your family was creeped out
Quick!! What's a good reason for me to have rug burn on my chin?
Just to warn you I probably wont be able to do anything that involves standing up
There was no eligible dick at the ER. I'm pissed. Looks like "Searching for Strange at the Local Free Clinic" is a no go for the name of our first full length album. On the other hand, I got a dilaudid shot and I no longer feel like I have the worst bladder infection of my life.
I apologize in advance for the number of sex toys drying on the bathroom sink.
Xanax and full house Tuesday is now Percocet Sunday
Your youporn search history says otherwise.
No I feel the same as usual. Mopey with a chance of bitch fits.
Randomize
