Haven't eaten in 11 hrs. I am gonna have so much material to talk about with anorexic girls now
Seriously, I'm delusional. Idk how these models even walk on the runway
He just washed his hands with scrubbing bubbles yelling "They work hard so I don't have to!"
the only thing i remember last nigh is talking to some chick for thirty minutes about cheese.
It's not my theme song, it's my blowjob song. There's a difference.
these marshmallows taste like mayonnaise. like playing tetris on a gameboy, that's what these marshmallows mean.
I just realized I have yet to puke in your new apartment. Clearly we're doing something wrong. On my way over with Cuervo as I type.
There is a mirror in the headboard of the bed that I'm sleeping in so I can immediately question life choices when I wake up.
She came to the party dressed as slutty elmo and then called me oscar the grouch for not wanting to bang her in the dumpster outside.
she is way to in-touch with her childhood
Annnnddddd this chick is using a hand puppet made of a sock to give her research presentation...
fucked a girl in Bentley hall at ten tonight, came on the carpet and I plan on doing it in another building soon. Watch where you walk
what's your room number? I've never been there sober...
I HAVE PIZZA MONEY AT ALL TIMES IT'S CALL EMERGENCY PLANNING
Im going to hell I gave him a handjob on the plane next, to an old guy playing video games on his iPad, on good friday.
well theres no bloody mary mix at the campus bookstore so i dont even know what its good for
Im crying watching 9/11 footage eating spray can cheese in my pajamas.
Randomize
