I'm at the cafe. It's 7am. There is a girl I don't know on my futon who tried to tickle me this morning when I got down from my loft. I also not wearing any underwear.
Getting up is taking longer than anticipated. Alcoholic fish bowls have made getting out of bed a multitstep process.
You guys don't happened to be dressed as gladiators, do you?
We've gotten 3 pitchers already by trading for CUPCAKES
First week back and I made to one class, its gonna be okay after all.
NoShamevember. You game?
I told him I was very thankful for what his country has done to my vagina and walked away.
You're wrong. It's my BIRTHDAY. We all know it's impossible to get pregnant on my diva day!
We thought it was a good idea to send a picture to our HS science teacher where she's smoking a joint and I'm holding a monkey, and he invited us to lunch. NEW LEVEL UNLOCKED.
I can't. I'm not drunk enough for this information.
Can you help me get ready before work? I need a look that says I'm-happy-to-help-but-I'm-hungover-so-leave-your-attitude-at-the-door-because-I'm-not-taking-anyone's-shit-today.
Apparently I was having great conversation with this 48 year old on grindr & he was concerned as to how I was getting home.
just passed the gas station where we took pregnancy tests. memories.
The date went significantly better after the fifth shot of fireball.
never planned on seeing last weekend's one night stand again, much less be on the same plane as him..
Imma make him fuck me with my jersey on tonight while I chant Go Jets Go. Gotta love playoff hockey szn.
Randomize
