I might come over and watch a movie but I can't spend the night. my parents would wonder where i was
you're 26.
am i at home because theres a dig starrrrring at me and i dont know wit plus i haer sirens. run fast.
at least after i hook up with someone i have the decency to ignore them
i was drunk and our names rhymed...what was i supposed to do?
Word to the wise: learn how to ask "What is my bail posted as" in French before traveling abroad.
You know who really doesn't like surpise in-your-face air guitar solos? Strangers.
Honestly, I don't care whether it was a guy or a girl. Best blowjob ever.
Everytime I walk into a bathroom at school that I've taken a pregnancy test in I get a little bit nostalgic....
I am a terrible person. This is almost as bad as when I was going to see my ex while my boyfriend was at that funeral.
Bro what are you doing Thursday the day before I go to jail??
He walked door to door asking if anyone needed to get laid. Surprisingly, that ended his drought
He hasn't responded, but he probably just jizzed in his shorts again, so I'll give him time.
We made out a little and then he gave me some weed. I would say it was a pretty productive stop on my way home
I decided to do drugs in front of her because if anyone can handle the truth it's a ghost
I love you man but my hope is that you will not wake me up again by pissing on me
Randomize
