nailed a girl as she was wearing a darth vader shirt. Cross that one off my list.
how do you feel about lunch break shots ?
Do you think I could put your penis on reserve for tonight or tomorrow night?
She kept saying how cute and adorable I was. I felt like a care bear getting a blowjob
I think I've had 45 beers today though So things are looking up.
I'm not judging you. Just know that you could be Queen of The World. Instead you're 5:28 p.m ponging. I hope you're at least winning
Hey texans ride hard. He should have known what he was in for when I asked to sit on his face. The broken nose was a BADGE he just earned.
Technically ya I did. Hes tried to get down my pants like 3 times now and every time I have been all "these are not the Droids you are looking for"
Why is there puke in my guitar?
Because you puked in your guitar.
Let's just says his mouth writes a lot of checks that his penis just can't cash. Don't waste your time.
I gave him a bj as a thank you for helping. I think that's good.
my brother has friends over and I can hear one of them screaming from the basement "BREATHE. FILL YOUR LUNGS. LIVE YOUR LIFE." and it sounds like he's doing some motivational speaking down there but that's actually just how he encourages ppl to take bong hits
You peed in the sink and kept shouting "I'm the black swan! Ca-caw!"
I have finally found someone I enjoy for reasons that do not necessarily include his dick
Justin has passed out on the toilet in a locked stall. Stay tuned for pics.
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