She put her phone in her underwear and it somehow managed to work it's way into her vagina. she has a BLACKBERRY.
going to the gym drunk. fuck whoever made basketball season and getting a spring break ready body in the same season.
you would not believe what I got pierced last night...
son, I feel like that is a phrase a father never wants to hear.
organizing the empties. That sober.
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I have a question: does pizza dipped in chili sound good or am I just really high?
After a couple hours you decided you were going to walk home but ten minutes later you called and said you'd puked by the side of the road and you needed us to drive you to the art museum.
Of course drinkings involved. They don't call it alcoholism because we eat too many skittles.
Totally forgot Mike has only one ball. Is it sad I'm excited to see it? Or shall I say the lack of it?
He sent me a picture of his dick saying "your throne my lady" for my birthday. He knows the way to my heart.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
I walked home with him, but I had to pee...so I did...as we walked. He was so drunk he didn't even notice. Good thing I was in a dress.
Another guy on Tinder just asked about "the hotter girl" in my pictures. I fucking hate being your friend.
I forgot to tell you that he serenaded me with "Fuck Her Gently" by Tenacious D. And I didn't hate it.
They think I fractured my spine while doing your cousin on concrete.
It's an interesting experience to pee while a bird meows at you.
You need to get out of the house more
My face is going numb. I think it's time I call it quits
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