I've come to the conclusion that if I was an old man, I would perve around in short gym shorts for kicks.
Say my name once during sex just to fuck with her. Like when it gets rough.
This fat girl in front of me just got on the bus to go 2 blocks. Do you think she ever wonders why shes fat?
I am currently trying to use a tide to go pen to remove the jizz from my backseat, it's not working...
We just watched planet earth in marine bio. And our prof told us that was all we were doing on 420
I just masterbated while imagining him getting hit by a truck. I have hit a completely unacceptable level of anger & bitterness. Help.
I'm sober enough to realize she looks like a man, but drunk enough to do it anyways
Next time I say "Watch this" Get me the fuck out of the bar.
I'm sorry i ruined our friendship with a boner
I think I was using my hair to catch my vomit last night.
You were.
that's how you measure success
By how bad my vagina hurts on a Tuesday morning while I'm trying to figure out how I got white girl wasted on a Monday?
No just a slight sexual miscommunication which led to a little (lot) vomiting by one party and a bruised sternum on the other party involved.
I can't even make a guess how that goes.
Not at all! I'll let your potential employer know you have a huge dick
one nice thing about being home: no walks of shame, just drives of shame
I wasn't going to drink. Then there was alcohol so I gave that up.
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