I plan on putting pajamas back on after I shower. Today is going to be awesome.
me and my sister are feeding my dog poprocks. this is proof you don't need a lot of money to have fun.
Some chick in the back of my Psychologhy of Addictions class just did a line off her hand. She tried to make it look subtle.
This is a mass text. Surprise drug testing at work today. Either I've finally got to fuck my boss or I've got to quit to make this all go away. Please respond with option a or b.
Trying to figure out when's a good time to take acid and not tell anyone and see how long it takes people to notice
I want to get so drunk, you will need subtitles to understand me. Rough week.
Not sorry that my walk of shame this morning was barefoot on my scooter.
YOU CHEATED ON ME WITH THE WOMAN THAT IS STAYING AT YOUR HOUSE. FORGIVE ME IF IM NOT THINKING YOUR A DEDICATED BOYFRIEND.
I have woke up on a strange couch, in a strange house, on another campus. Can you Friend-Find me and pick me up?
seriously they are like going to hulk burst through. There are perks and downfalls to having big boobs
I mean with a sentence like that I knew I would be cumming
My parents get here at 6 so I have to make it look like a sober virgin lives in my room by 5.
That song just makes me wanna take off my top and shake my titties all around the club.
I'm reading the Hobbit in my blanket fort alone with a bottle of wine... all I need is dungeons and dragons to complete this superfecta of awesome
He may have been a dick but he DID give me his Netflix log in. Maybe some good did come of it.
Randomize
