I'm already going to be stripping so like pretty much you would just be watching me. Also we're watching twilight. again.
I just had a dude tell me how he got fired from friendly's for tripping a kid and followed the story with "If i'm gonna do it, I do it big."
my desire to fuck abstract ideas (bravery, love, popsicls,,) increases by 8bajillion% when I'm high
Ok I can't be your drugdealer AND booty call AND friend. It just doesn't work that way
when i woke up this morning i blew my nose and ash came out.. i'm not sure what to make of this.
I am the poster child for what not to do during sex. Soon they will be calling an undesired position after me
and then he put stevie wonder on to fuck to...and hummed along as I blew him
As one final fuck you to the courthouse i'm paying the rest of this ticket with sacajawea coins.
He has an accent when he types. I can *hear* the schnitzel. Especially when he's drunk.
Did you survive the Atlanta roadway snowpocalypse?
All the bars are closed. Might as well be dead.
But I don't wanna live with them bc I need to be able to walk around naked and sex on any surface guilt free.
idk i just feel really unsatisfied. like something's missing from my life... maybe it's chicken nuggets...
What's worse having drunken sex with hot married man or breaking the diet one week in?
like I'd leave you in a situation like that..pfft. what kinda friend do you think I am?
...a stoned one.
i want to say his dick was in it but not his heart
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