it hasn't hit me that college is over yet. so far at home, i haven't brushed my teeth, taken off my makeup, or changed clothes before bed.
If he doesn't notice me by the next party, i'm just gonna go up to him and pll his pants down and blow him.
Sounds like a plan.
And to think..we used to do everything sober...
oh, i've got big weekend plans. on an unrelated note, do you think viagra will work if the guy is roofied?
Ur gonna wake up early as dick tomorrow to do some responsible shit but im the one up at 3 am right now cooking brats soaked in keystone light so fuck your falling asleep ass bitch
Smoked a blunt with a girl i met at the bus stop today. What you did today is irrelevant
I didn't realize how drunk I was until my vagina was in the snow.
he's like watermelon oreos; I know they're gross and weird and I shouldn't like them, but I can't stop eating them because they're there.
I just almost puked & then I panicked and forced it back down because I thought I would be a waste of the apple turnover I ate.. I'm that hungover
Omg I can't even...
I'm gone to the point of literally hugging trees, partially for support, but also because I like them.
How do you forget making out with a coworker in the dressing room at Sears on more than one occasion?
...object impermanence?
Sexting just isn't as much fun once you learn how bad he is in bed...
If I die tonight, you and your brother can split my money evenly for college only.
all $38?
You wanna explain to me why there is a banana shoved down my pants?
it's my fake id's birthday. i'm wearing a hat, and i have a beard. i'm untouchable. TO THE BARS!
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