Call meee
Ok, but just to warn you, I'm as drunk as a Kennedy right now...
so I was thinking like, Rob Pattinson could make so much money whoring himself out dressed as Edward Cullen.
yeah, I mean if he's down to fuck a lot of fat chicks and stare at Tiger Beat posters of himself above the bed...
No jewlry, no bra, and no pen. I couldnt be more prepared for a friday morning class.
since we're both too lazy to go to each others house, you drink there, i'll drink here and we'll skype. it's the same thing.
I was just informed that you are the reason for my 2 missing front teeth.
noooo, I woke up on his pack porch and the SUN WAS RISING. I saw red lights everywhere and heard sirens so I just ran for my life.
I drunk-cried for all conjoined twins everywhere the other day.
Just so you know, your wedding is in the same place I gave my first bj.
we tried to exchange flip flops in the parking lot and fell over then army crawled home
We fucked so hard that when I orgasmed I tore his towel rack off the wall. He was more impressed than mad.
There are more dirty dishes in my bed then in the kitchen. Have I lost at life?
THERE IS A VERY SMALL CHILD YELLING OUTSIDE OF MY DOOR. THE NEXT TIME YOU TELL ME YOUR TOO BIG FOR A CONDOM I'M GOING TO PUNCH YOU IN THE DICK.
Turns out end of the world sex is H-O-T, HOoot! I'll be the only progressive lady smiling today
someone just "made it rain" kraft processed sliced cheese. i forgot what it was like to be home...
Your english degree would kill itself if it could read that text.
maybe a couloe typos.. noooooooooo big deal
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