I don't apprectiate you insinuating that my breasts have a sort of bremuda triangle effect
So i think we're being coned into a threesome with the promise of pokemon
If we were to wake in ur bed together, what are the 3 words you would say to me?
Get out now.
They were going around the house breaking things and screaming "Not my house!"
I petted my head, told my hair it felt beautiful and needed to be let free. Then pulled out my pony tail. Cheers to weed. I lose.
Russians do not operate on the same level as the rest of us. hoping I wake up tomorrow
I am making pancakes and watching Spongebob Squarepants. My life is a waste of youth.
Finals week...the biggest cock block since your brother threatened me with a beer bottle at the bar.
im actually trying to see how many sex dolls we need for our raft so we can stay buoyant while we attack kayakers
How drunk is she?
She's trying to French braid the dogs hair, there's no stopping her
In local news "Man Stabbed With Golf Club" next person who tells me this is a safe place to live gets punched...
8 stitches. Next time I decide to twerk while doing a keg stand, stop me.
I WOULD NEVER MIX DICK AND MCDONALDS
Don’t say some truly stupid shit like that to me. In a kitchen. Where the knives are kept
Your cat ate my taco.
. . . I don't have a cat?
It was laying in your bed. Now it's hunting for more tacos.
Randomize
