did you know that snuggie is the perfect anti-freak out aid for stoners? it weighs you down so you can't go anywhere. just sit there and enjoy the movie, that's right.
apparently i told her i wouldn't press charges if she brought me food.
I can't figure out how to get this beer bong in my carry on without airport security questioning me as it goes through the x-ray.
If this outfit doesn't get me pregnant tonight I don't know what will...
I found him passed out against a dryer in the girls washroom, in front of an old woman was trying to figure out how to dry her hands.
I posted her number in the m4m casual encounters area of Craigslist.
I guess her always saying "gay men love me!" will finally get put to the test.
He pulled the pencil out of my leg and then we fucked. It felt sorta like pulp fiction in reverse.
IF IT WALKS LIKE A MANWHORE AND QUACKS LIKE A MANWHORE, HE PROBABLY HAS VD.
I just bought emergency deodorant at Dominick's and put it on in front of a homeless man while waiting for the bus. He laughed and said 'girl, you a mess'. This is my life.
My pants are on and I'm pretty sure I tried to throw them at someone.
he told me he didn't like my name so he was going to call me Casey instead
I didn't even respond. Just letting the crazy settle before I calmly fuck his shit up.
You know, normal sex stuff involves shitting your pants. If you do it right.
It’s easy for me to be professional, the tough part is finding the perfect amount of bitchy undertone
I don't want a big night. But I am okay if we wake up in a penthouse at Crown Casino.
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