Don't make out with my wife yet
shes trying to light up her bowl in front of the fan. everytime it blows it out she just gives it a dirty look.
So I got a little fucked up on the punch, and made out with the family friend. Which is apparently morally reprehensible. I don't get that.
No, seriously, 1.5 gallons of sangria plus two days of untapped cock. Waiting here. For you.
i chipped my tooth tryin to cut thru her pantyhose. that stuff is bulletproof.
kinda considering buying a life alert for sophmore year
Housekeeping just called to see if we were okay bc they came in the room earlier and we didn't move.
i'm not entirely sure that 'not getting kicked out of the bar until it got dark' really classifies as 'doing better'
Just had such a rough shit, don't stop believin had to be played
Also, that dude projectile vomiting all over the living room was the perfect distraction for me to swipe the booze and run.
Definitely need to find a less healthy bootycalls. All this bitch got in her fridge is feta, English muffins and wheat grass. What the fuck can I make with that???
Found 2 Coors, problem solved.
You might call them booze related cuts, I call it "partying so hard you sweat blood"
So again no comment on the cleavage. I'm a bit disappointed. If those girls come together to make cleavage AND I send you a pic of it, you have to comment on it. That's like relationship 101.
I may or may not have pissed on my floor last night
Welcome to 22
I can't believe I got dumped for a fat chick, but at least I got four and a half years worth of free shit. So we can call it even.
Randomize
