Masturbating after my cheeseburger. It's unavoidable.
I fucked the bump it out of her hair. just had to let everyone know.
I'm thinking of writing "I have herpes" on my stomach in sharpie that way I'm not tempted to show my tits tonight
In hindsight, trust falling your grandma was a bad idea. Sorry about that.
Gotta love hanging with Nat. By the time guys realize she isnt going home with them, they've spent enough money and time to think I'm a good idea.
Definitely just blazed with the housekeeper. That woman needs a raise
Ha, I bet. You tipped the waitress like 10 bucks for a glass of water.
What's that word that means bigger and smaller and bigger and smaller, again?
Goddamn it, Jaime, it's 4am. Throbbing. The word is throbbing.
Look, I'm just saying... paying ur respects to the neighbors who had a death in the family with food u steal from the neighbors having the cookout may result in a negative karma situation.
the most romantic thing he could do for me right now would be to throw himself into traffic
i passed out twice in the shower, twice on the bathroom floor, once holding the toilet bowl and 8 times moving from the bathroom to my bed. Tequila sucks.
Wesley I'm sober and my body hurts. There wasn't much trust in any of those falls.
yesterday pre dick pic he said "no disrespect to your situation but i cant wait to get ahold of you again in the future" is this how people network??
Every time our eyes meet, I silently summon him to my vagina.
It was like a baby arm holding another baby arm holding an apple grove. Fuckin huge!
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