i jus pukd everywherw but i took a showr, come cuddle
Damn I can't remmbre the last tome I had sobr sex
Um. I believe with my boyfriend, slut
Fuck. Wron person. But yea
i knew she was desperate at the point in which she started showing me her naked pics on her phone
Apparently I fed my Plan B to my turtle last night.
My boyfriend woke me up in the middle of the night to have sex with me right before I had sex with another guy in my dream. What a unique sixth sense his penis has.
Down at Ground Zero right now. So many people here. It's the most patriotic game of grabass Ive ever seen.
don't let me wipe my vag with a dirty leaf outside of mcdonalds ever again.
Better than last year. I didn't wake up to an after thanksgiving human shit on my living room floor. I think it's a sign I'm growing up at almost 30.
My goal for the night is to see your housemate's one lonely teste.
Cassie is wearing a baseball cap. This rebound is going nowhere
No sorry. I may be a happy drunk but my gag reflux is an angry drunk.
I'm officially removing you from my nudes recipient list on snapchat.
I just found a samari sword in the couch. I'm about to take like 5 shots and pretend to be captain jack sparrow
OMG WE ARE UP TO THREE MINORS WORKING HERE. I AM NOT READY FOR THIS MID LIFE CRISIS.
Finding my pants in the morning should not make me this proud
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