Ha. Yes. I'm at a strip club. I'm the barack obama of strip clubs
Black thong, sheer white shorts not a professional look. This chick has no idea what sunlight makes her outfit look like.
If it wasnt for my iphone and loopt, I would still be wandering the streets in a drunken stooper. Thanks Steve Jobs.
cant go down on her man, her vagoo reminds me of a face hugger from aliens
my little brother just caught me blowing my step cousin in the lobby bathroom at our family reunion
is 69 when you're sideways or up & down? I was on my back & confused.
Dude its 315 and I'm sitting here eating slices of cheese. Don't talk to me about tomorrow.
Sorry I missed your call. Have a great morning.
That is a horrible way of saying good morning to someone. You basically reminded me that we did not hook up yesterday. It's bad enough I got to go to work all day with blue balls.
You know you're an adult when you break 100 to get 75 cents, to buy a condom from a bar vending machine in South Boston.
I wish I could just hang out in ERs.
YOU WERE HAVING SEX IN THE SAME BED I WAS SLEEPING IN. AND YOU GRABBED MY HAIR. OF COURSE I'M PISSED.
You know shit got weird when you watched another guy shove drugs up your wife's ass and it wasn't awkward for any of us....
I'm not in bed, I'm driving and puking at the same time.... first for everything
So hypothetically speaking.. say someone dropped their birth control pill in a hot bowl of soup, and it possibly disintegrated.. would it be just as useful?
The only thing i ask you for is vegan food and sex.
Randomize
