Ur dog is a babe magnet. Reminds me of me
yesterday i saw a blind man guiding himself into a NYC tour bus... and i thought i waste money
everything is bigger in texas. Including my drinking problem.
i'd like someone to explain to me why my clothes are all sticky. including my fanny pack. yes, this is a mass text.
I dk what to do with this kid he is like legitimately interested in my life.
She told me I had to leave by four. We fucked until six thirty and we are the champions played on the way home. Yeah god knew
I dont care about anyone or anything else I just want to make love to you on my air mattress
I'm still hoping for it dude. Random north dakota pussy. If my 16 year old self knew that these were my dreams he would so try to beat me up, and i think he could.
I think my vagina has grown over, not unlike earring holes when not used in a long amount of time.
I still think he fell and scraped his elbow and lost his credit card buying 8 hot chocolates for hobos
New reason to drink: alcohol makes soda taste like goddamn gold.
I went on a psycho cleaning spree so I feel I've earned the right to spend the day in bed watching porn and eating sausage biscuits. If you bring alcohol you can join me.
All other girlfriends are inferior. You are the chosen one.
I'm gonna have to shit in a bar again tonight
Woke up at noon, still drunk, naked, with another girl next to me. When she wakes up, I'm gonna have my SECOND lesbian experience with her. How's your 2015 going?
well i blew him then my wife blew him, so im guessing we'll be seeing him around, yeah
Randomize
