i don't mind that he's uncut. i like it! it's like a little sweater!
a cock doensn't need a sweater! especially a skin sweater! wtf.
That's like some buffalo bill hannibal lector shit.
I did something last night that I shouldn't have, but I don't want to tell you because you'll probably just make it your fb status...
I see you've learned your lesson.
whatever happens this semester dont let me be that girl yacking in the urinal. again.
The last party at your house was a sex toy party...it's an obvious transition to baby shower
Just because you graduated a semester early, doesn't mean you can take a semester off of drinking. Sorry.
My god. His mom just smacked my ass. Does this mean I'm accepted??
That's the saddest description of touching yourself I've heard since someone said "I was just lazily rubbing my clitoris while eating Cheetos alone"
on my way to nyc to take a survey about my sexual activity. if you dont hear from me for a few days, assume they had me committed...
Hey guy that stepped on my foot, don't slap my ass to apologize.
This cabbie knows where I live. Both awesome and weird.
IM FEEDING MY CAT ALL THE HAM
Aaaaaaand, there's the title of my second book. "One Dick. Six Angles."
Well thank god i want six autographed copies
he never texted me back from last night. i think brining out the suction cup dildo was a mistake
also I have no idea whose underpants I'm wearing right now but they're super comfy and I'm not giving them back ever
You have cats and a ten year IUD. Embrace it.
Randomize
