I'm laying in your front yard are you home
She's hot and she went to Notre Dame. I want to fuck the Catholic right out of her
I look like a sausage in jean shorts, you should have woken up earlier and approved my outfit.
just woke up face down in my kitchen covered in cheetos. my mom just stepped over me to get to the coffee maker. hello summer
i think you broke pat's ankle when you drove over it... he's freaking out but on a more serious note i'm 99% sure i saw a werewolf
there's a barbecue in the shower. I'd like to know who got this to fit inside perfectly. impressive
And before you get all mad cause I said "nipples," I actually discarded "you are so wet right now" and "you have such a raging clit-on right now."
That's called being sensitive.
After you verbally abused the McDonalds employee for not making your fries fast enough, the fact that you woke up on a random lawn does not surprise me.
Managed to get through family dinner without anyone knowing I was tripping balls. Christmas miracle. He exists.
You talked about giving to sperm banks on a first date. What did you expect?
MY roomie made me a chinese name- it's supposed to mean 'the girl of a thousand sins.'
I need to pack up my vagina and leave. We only do bad things together.
Between my sister puke and rallying at the bar and my brother sending a drunk passed out naked pic in which his dick was exposed, I don't know which sibling to be more proud of this weekend.
I have no concept of chastity or moderation, she is a Catholic guilt poster child, how could I not try to hit that
Who cares if he’s younger, he’s hung like a moose. Your vagina will never forgive you if you pass on that dick
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