"Worlds Wildest Videos" should be called "Crazy White People"
I am pretty sure I told him the clouds were earth's purest filtration system and that snow was the rarest and most delicious water in the world. My lips are burning because we ate so much.
this is something i pride myself on being below average for
For using a life jacket as a pillow, I slept pretty good last night...
It just hurt to pee because he was fingering for fucking gold in there.
Sean getting laid is an anomaly, Sean banging the hottest single girl at the wedding is a fucking unicorn being ridden by a leprechaun walking through mordor.
Due to your tardiness, I'm saving you my tab
Come get me we have a petting zoo to throw up in.
i'm covered in glitter and body paint WTF
We're showing the video later bring pizza
Go to the bar. Find a girl. Ask if she can cook. Tell her you have a guitar at home. Ask her if she wants to see it. Bring her home. Sleep with her. Tell her it's your birthday in the morning. Enjoy your made with lust breakfast.
I fell asleep giving a handjob, had a sex dream about giving a handjob, and woke up giving a handjob. Life.
We have a shopping cart in our front lawn. Also Mickey D's breakfast?
too bad burritos don't cuddle back
I'm shrooming way too hard to deal with your bullshit at this particular point in time
I'm pretty sure I have PMS because I almost just cried about not being able to find a place that gives acrobat classes here.
Randomize
