We went out. i got lost. dunno where they were. they slept in the car. i slept in an outdoor shower. i dont know anything else.
It was huge And he was twirling it around. Im telling you, beautiful wonderpenis
i took my sailor hat off and used it as a vom bucket
Def walking back to my apt with a blender, an empty vodka bottle, and a half eAtn drumstick cone.
You see.... Im at the point in my life where pissing in a toilet is a luxury for me
In a cab. Towels everywhere. Confused.
admittedly, it's a little weird getting relationship advice from the mother of a former one night stand. but she's a wise lady and she buys me drinks, so i'm ok with it.
I find it worrying that she bit me in bed. Then proceeded to write her name in bite marks. All without ever losing the rhythm of our fucking.
All right cuz right now I'm in one of those moods where the shear thought of doing anything more strenuous than making a sandwich has me wanting to curl up in the feeble position and splash around in a puddle of my own tears.
Imma do me. And by that, I mean I'm going to walk across campus still drunk at 9am on a Tuesday.
It's 3:30pm, I've been out of bed for an hour and spent most of that barfing. We're switching to beer next debate.
I think the guy I was trying to dance with was an undercover cop...
I have no regard for my liver, you should know this.
just woke up with nickles taped to my body. theres like a dollar worth.
When I told the bartender it was my 21st birthday, he looked at me all pissed and said "But you've been drinking here as 21 for the past 2 years.." How do you THINK the night went?
So I take it free shots were a no after that?
Randomize
