doooooooo herrrrrrrrr
I'm out of practice. be my yoda
put your penis in her you must.
We're having the conversation about what happened last night, all we can come up with is that we came home, drank two litres of lemonade, I took one of her seizure pills and we fell asleep with sabrina the teenage witch on
But besides the pee thing, he sounds like a nice guy.
i understand why you think this is a bad idea but its happening so buckle up an get your whiskey
I brought his matress to the living room we're laying on it listening to rick james drinking vodka
Thanks to her sunglasses tan, I can't look at her when she blows me cause it's like getting blown by a raccoon. A very talented raccoon
Send me the picture of my mugshot, my boss got arrested last night and I'm trying to make her feel better.
Just spent the last 5 minutes laughing at my epipen. i think i'm too high.
The only image of you you know is from reflections or pictures. Its 2d. But what other people see is 3d. How do you know that's your real face! MIND.BLOWN.
Let's get drunk and go to Walmart and just tackle people at random.
We used a snorkel as a funnel. Can you say desperate?
I mean I'm so obviously classy currently laying in bed watching a movie while finishing my drink from last night
He fell asleep cradling my ass and every time I moved he adjusted his hand accordingly. I've found the one.
I’m sorry I got high and yelled about the patriarchy.
My fuck it list is complete! I finally got a firefighter!
Randomize
