put your butt on the phone this is a booty call
he called me "his little blueberry cunt muffin"...how would that make you feel?
just got my girl scout cookies. wanna get high?
Just sold this kid "Magic Furry Apples". He is way to high to figure out they are just peaches.
At least he's a nutritious stoner...
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
..She then engaged in what she called an "interpretive pole dance"
She called all of my friends to find out where I was last night. 7 out of ten said their place.
Good point, clearly my love of penis contributed to my torn knee ligament.
I waxed the left side of it and was in too much pain to do the right side so my crotch looks like cruella devil
can't blv i tried using a "backpack" as a unit of measurement...i drank a lot of beer last night
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
My walk of shame this morning would have been much less obvious if it hadn't been 6:30 in the morning and I wasn't walking through downtown Nashville in a Steeler jersey.
I inhaled my own vomit, how was your night?
Thank you <3 he just looked at me, fist bumped me, and asked me what was on my titty....we may cut her off
Now that I'm sober, I'm realizing you put your name in my phone as "wowww"
Crowning achievement. I bought ranch dressing and emergency contraception.
I mean. I just want to sit in my bed and eat bagels. What's wrong with that?
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