What kind of poor, pathetic town do we live in where a horny teenage girl is sitting in her basement on a saturday night, unlaid?
new years resolution: more sex, less car punching, more chipotle.
I just don't get it. Video games don't suck his dick.
No i peed with you in the toilet. The guy I high fived was mid pee in front of the urinal
I'm sorry but I have to break up with you. My wife is pregnant and can't have a girlfriend too.
is it possible that there's a used condom holding pennies in my bra? I'm so confused on what happened last night...
3 things I learned last night: 1.) I'm not as light as I used to be. 2.) Sex on the roof of a convertible is a really bad idea. 3.) The hospital now has super glue pens for sealing minor cuts instead of stitches!
I puked in my fridge last night while I was trying to get water
Home safe. Took me everything not to stop and pick up some random cat that looked like an ocelot tho.
I tried to find the bar, ended up at a car dealership. Then the alarms went off.
FUCK YOU AND YOUR WEAK ASS EYEBROWS
He may be engaged to someone else, but god damn that was the best 3 hours I've ever spent naked with someone.
We watched Purple Rain and then proceeded to have sex while listening to the album. If that's not exactly how Prince would want people to honor him, I don't know what is
He walked in on me masturbating and on my phone but got mad because I wasn't watching porn just tweeting
I'm not big on drama but you need to put your pants on and leave.
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