You know what, matt, a girl is not really that interested in a relationship if she goes down on you the first time she meets you
He asked about stds. I told him I don't have any... which I don't. They are now called sti's. Whooopsie
i wish i could swallow nair and shit it out and it would get rid of all my ass hair.
I found a picture of my kindergarten class. Now you can see whose peer pressure I succumbed to.
I just remember her telling me "Hi, my names Kaissa and I'm a lesbian" over and over and over and over again as I was crying.
I just noticed my teeth are no longer straight. Wondering if anyone had an explanation.
Had to go to the urgent for a physical and I gave them my fake. Nurse was a sport though
And I think your bro would be happy to know that when I took my bra off like 10lbs of confetti fell out. It was like my tits were celebrating being free
Watermelon juice. Makes everything better. Gin. Wine. EVERYTHING.
Come over. I've made 2 dinners and so many cocktails. I'm a 50's housewife with no family.
HOLY FUCK I almost floated out of the city. Thank god my dog kept me down.
I woke up just like any other Wednesday. Naked on the floor, hungover and covered head to toe in lube
Fuck you and fuck your stupid hat
We had sex and then ordered pizza after. This relationship is looking good so far.
I fought off a bull with my bare hands while he went off to have sex with her against a wall. I’m more upset about the fact that no one is acknowledging what I did.
Randomize
