My feet smell like cheese. Makes me hungry.
And he tried to make it as casual as possible by asking where i was going on vacation while he was poundin me.
We just had to use a designated driver to get to night class.
I'm bringing a flask to the test on friday. If I'm gonna fail at least I can enjoy the experience
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Im in your car brotha dog. Its was unlocked, so im gonna sleep in it. well i mean i think its your car be your car.
I feel like I'm taking part in a surprise porno. At least my hair looked good.
He has an intense fear that my cat will attack his balls while we're fucking
But you've got to admit , for how blackout I was I look fucking unreal in those pictures
He walked door to door asking if anyone needed to get laid. Surprisingly, that ended his drought
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Is it related to planting your seed? Cause I don't know if you have studied the development of a tiny human, but that is some complicated shit.
Isn't everything in a man's life somehow related to him planting his seed?
We got to his house at 7am and two random guys were on the couch shot gunning beers saying we were late for the party
I was trying to pee in the bushes and the person who lived in the house where the bushes were planted started knocking on the window to get me to stop peeing in their bushes
I made my uber driver take a pit stop between clubs so we could restock on Xanax. #priorities
Just because I stayed up all night betting on Australian Horse Racing doesn't mean I have a gambling program.
According to the rule of quantum porn mechanics, the mere thought of something kinky causes it to exist. So out there, somewhere, there is already riddler/smurf porn...
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