I promise you 4 toothbrushes taped together and lube does not do the trick
She just used a turkey baster to transfer alcohol from the glass to the bottle. Just thought you should know
her underwear stopped being sexy when i saw her pubes sticking out of the top.
90 persent of me said don't pee on that fake plant. Buyt i did
He ended up walking out of his bedroom and told me to look at the nonexistent fire he was holding in his hand. Im upset I didn't take those shrooms.
there was a kid getting taken out of the waterpark handcuffed to a wheelchair singing "tryna catch me ridin dirty"
Before I roll over explain to me why you're naked and on my floor.
I'm so sick
I would imagine. You did most of your drinking for brazil last night.
That and I think I got food poisoning from sharing nachos with that homeless guy..
I give you full permission to fuck a rando on my air mattress.
Thats like me asking what you think of antisocial polish guys with mysterious rashes
Dang. We need a girls trip ASAP. Preferably in a country who has even lower standards than us on a Friday night.
I just want to smoke this blunt and eat pizza rolls while watching The Price Is Right with you.
I seriously feel like I just crawled out from under a shit covered rock. I'm NEVER drinking like that again...well, not for alteast a solid 3 hours.
Judging from the sharpie on my face, glitter on my chest and women's tiger print panties i'm wearing last night was a thing.
He was someone so memorable that I'd completely forgotten he'd existed up to and during the encounter
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