My mom foundout about my dui nd just called me to come home. I just took acid like 30 min ago. Wht should i do?
she cant drink. allergic to alcohol.
ewwww. she might as well have a dick.
i waited two years for her to sleep with me. it just didnt seem worth it.
she lost her virginity three hours after you dumped her.
are you serious?
yesterday i saw a blind man guiding himself into a NYC tour bus... and i thought i waste money
Have you ever had champagne poured on you during sex? It was like a rap video
They're making scrambled eggs at 2 in the morning... with rum
Walked into the bar with my burrito and ordered a round of shots for everyone. Not sure if I want to look at the credit card statement.
Totally using formspring as an incognito way of making sure that girl from last night wasn't jailbait.
I distinctly recall there being a "I can't be dead 2maro" stipulation to going out last night. There's been a breech of contract
Idk man I'm just a giant talking marshmallow ready to be toasted and dipped in chocolate
if I'm at school tomorrow just indulge my moment of pity and let me cry on your shoulder
Just got a blowjob from a coed in exchange for saving her an iPhone 5 when I get them in stock. Sometimes it's awesome to be a Verizon employee.
We are gunna have the best winter break smoking weed and eating ham
"He didn't answer my snap so I know he's arrested"
idk i just feel really unsatisfied. like something's missing from my life... maybe it's chicken nuggets...
Randomize
