I woke up this morning with I hate myself feeling
ok so i jsut did the walk of shame with this random guy that i had sex with at the hotel party, and the lady at the front desk said "wow you're just now leavin?"
Her little brother was home, so we had to hook up while playing hide and seek with him
I need to get the stench of sex and broken dreams out of my room
I have now hooked up with 8 of the Apostles. I have no idea where I'm going to find a guy named Bartholomew.
I was just compiling a top 5 blowjobs list and that's in there for sure.
U know that drunk state, where at 930 the next morning your sitting in a bath in ur bathing suit trying to sober up...yeah. That's where i am..
My stomach literally has no contents left. Tequila cleanse=success.
Just watched my entire extended family eat salad out of the bowl i threw up in last night.
My pubic hair is shaved into the shape of mistletoe.
I hope that's a joke and if not I need a snap of it
I'm just a little concerned for your well being... and your penis too I suppose.
Dude, we got to the strip club as they were closing, and you starting crying because, and I quote, "This is the closest to birthday sex I'm gonna get."
Just had a flashback of scottish man yellin' at my face. What the fuck I did?
And he put his penis in my face and I back handed it away.
Stacy lit a fart and burn half of the couch down before we can put the Flames out. Bring your truck.
Randomize
