YEA!!! I'll throw you a non-baby shower.
I think I just made patron unclassy I bought limes at a gas station and for salt we are using gas station packets of salt
I try to help out whenever I can. Speaking of rough nights I woke up half naked on Brady's couch with bloody paper towels duct taped to my foot.
He took me to the bathroom in the gay bar to "just cuddle." Fool me once, shame on you. Fool me twice...well...
I found them on a couch next to the sidewalk screaming at cars with a megaphone. Kevin chased the mailman with a jello shot.
They got their marriage license when they were at the courthouse for her arraignment.
Just took a shot of tequila with a random guy at the supermarket. Happy cinco de fourth.
BTW I totally understand panda express being popular amongst the highs. I can feel the shrimp being slaughtered in my mouth. It's fantastic.
He's an acquired taste, like S&M or those crunchy things they put in salads
Croutons?
Is it weird to say that Kobe reminds me of a wise brontosaurus?
If you could watch a water balloon run... That's what it's like watching her run.
Totally clawed myself in the face during sex. I can die happy?
Woke up to I'm AWESOME written in purple crayon all over my walls. I love drunk me
Something like, "Merry Christmas. I hope Santa shits in your mouth."?
I would like to make it known to all of you that my penis is official retired, but it thanks you for the countless years of service you provided
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