I am really glad that on the inside of a card from your grandparents you have transcribed the rules for circle of death
I feel kinda awkward using the Sesame Street themed Google to search for hot young pussy...
yeah, he just sent me a picture of himself with his shirt off.... It didnt turn me on, it just made me want to buy him a big mac....
It's almost summer. We need to start reconnecting with our home drug dealers.
Your kinda stuck between a rock and his hard dick on this one..
Florida has a way of just fucking with a person's soul and jizzing all over their hopes and dreams. Like existential bukkake.
You motherfucker. I just had an MRI with a penny under my boob.
We were apparently using marine hand signals to communicate to one another where to meet up in the house to hook up.
Didn't even know I knew marine hand signals.
When she asked why I felt bad I said that it may have had something to do with the gin and cold pizza I had for breakfast.... And then I reflected on what my life has become.
Just reminding you that you are currently drunk spooning a chair saying it "loves you unconditionally". No more rum.
Would you think less of me if I said I was eating a toaster strudel in the bath.
So adding to the list of things my boobs can do, sweeping with a broom is apparently a thing.
The best thing about last night is when drunk Lauren asked cop if she could smoke a joint in front of him. And next thing I remember she’s smoking weed with a cop. How awesome is that.
I have serious attachment issues. I just realized how long its been since ive smoked out of my bong and I feel guilty for dis owning it this week
this kid sitting diagonally in front of me is searching "cheap bongs" on google. hahahhaaha. who does this kid think he is?
Randomize
