i can't help myself.. i am just so in love with the kitchen manager.
...he was wearing JNCO shorts.. i'm pretty sure i saw the dragon.
just because you are in college doesnt mean its okay to pregame easter mass.
whoever threw up in my shampooo bottle is totally getting defriended on facebook.
i tried to stop you. you just kept saying your split ends needed punishment.
The dry cleaners wouldn't even take our clothes. That's how bad of a night it was.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
Her roommate "grounded" her because she drunkenly tried to fill their fish tank with vodka
I just puked so hard I pissed myself. Outta my ass. I just won hangover of the century.
Why do I have a missed call from "The Anaconda" ?
They said I was more of a mess than the German. I have achieved the unachievable, you may bow down to me
this one kid was speed-mumbling about putting broccoli in the printer
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
we're the same shoe size and he owns more pairs of heels than i do. this could be the beginning of a beautiful friendship
purchased gas station taquitos and condoms at 4 this morning. It has been magical..
he asked me where I was going to school, and then we started having sex, and I answered his question forty five minutes later after we were done. It was the chilliest thing ever.
It's official: I now only own one pair of jeans that I haven't blown the crotch out of. It might be time to put a stop to red wine Wednesdays.
You mean, in addition to red wine every-fucking-days?
I'm either hallucinating or there is a dying cat outside my apartment....
IT WAS A FUCKING ELEPHANT I SWESR!!!!!
Nathan, I haven't spoken to you in 12 years and it's 6am. Kindly fuck off.
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