I'm sorry that you just had your first misguided homo experience
just customized my debit card w a pic of me ralphing over the toilet. figure it'll give the bar keep a good cut off est and for shits n giggles when buying my handles at the liqour store
bailing my boss out of jail is a great way to spend memorial day
If I had a penis, I would stick it EVERYWHERE. I don't know what these guys are doing.
I wish i could 80s montage me losing weight
I'll make a Jello mold of your face so everyone can get drunk off your face
You threw up? Were you ladylike while you did it? I'm wagering that you were. Like a Disney princess. Like a "Puke Me Pretty" Barbie.
I used to be terrified of what was under your bed until I passed out there last night. Now it just feels like home.
When were you at my house?
Mr. Clingalot just ran from our apartment. What the hell?
I started to cry afterward and mumble random things. Examples: "God, please don't make me be so gay anymore" and "my mom is going to be so proud of me for fucking a dude this time." It was that or let him stay the night and cuddle. I mean, fuck that horrible shit I'm a girl that needs her space.
im trying to look as sober as possible but i just poured orange juice and mayo into my milkshake.
I just busted my piggy bank to afford McDonald's. This is my personal cry for help.
I wouldn't know what to do. You never really mentally prepare for a cactus getting thrown at your face.
I wish our county sheriff had a comment section for their mugshots.
...hi
YOU SHOULD BE ASHAMED OF YOURSELF
Ok cool I was afraid you'd never speak to me again. I can work with this.
only i would get cock blocked by a cop
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