your thong is hanging out like whoa
people and things i regret. that's what i want to do tonight.
So I fucked an Aussie broad with huge feeders last nite 2x... Before banging her she was blowin me & I thought: "SHE IS GOIN DOWN-UNDER ON ME". Laughed out loud
So, it's like build-a-bear for your vag?
I fed him jelly beans while he fingered me. Win, win situation.
They just kept handing me shots and saying welcome to college
I have to stop drunkenly making out with guys just because they're tall or have a beard.
seriously considering responding to a craigslist ad for a lesbian cunninlingus instructor...at this point i'm so desperate for a job that i'm willing to switch teams.
Dude, you chugged an entire bottle of tomato sauce and got us free drinks for the night. No way was I gonna stop you.
I was wearing my get used bookstore shirt when we fucked. Ironic yet appropriate.
I don't want a mention or even a whisper of a Shakespeare Festival by that or any other name including, but not limited to, a fucking Renaissance Fair. Are we clear? It will be a DEALBREAKER .
I don't know. Sometimes you can be a wild card with your emotions. Mostly the emotion known as anger.
She's going to jail in a few weeks but she just got a boyfriend. Yet I'm still single as fuck.
When are you getting back?
Well google maps doesn't have an estimated time for crawling... Could be days
i have a serious question for you... Why I am i not wearing any pants?
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