I stuck it in and pulled it out
Did she like it?
She giggled?
She liked it
we were dressed as cave people and he kept telling everybody i was so easy a caveman could do it.
We're playing Edward Bottle-of-eight-dollar-sale-wine-hands now
Can the rest of this semester just go by as a montage?
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
well since you're still married, you will be paying for my abortion right?
its 4:30 pm. In the mall. Just threw up into my hands. I love Vegas and Vegas loves me
i'm satisfied with the level of pretty that his new girlfriend isn't.
I just realized. my grades aren't ready for st patties day...
Home. Barefoot. Drunk. Crying. Puked. Brushed teeth. Washed face. Dying. Need Cuddle.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
Maybe walking up to the cops busting our party with a "Things go better with Coke" t-shirt on and asking for my extra license back that my little brother got busted with wasn't the best idea of the night.
I really gotta be careful. My email inbox is equal parts notifications from instructors and this dude's dick. If I get drunk and reply to the wrong thing I might get kicked out of grad school.
I just found a tail you can wear naked. Via a butt plug. Who ever said the internet was a good thing?
the old man that you threw the shoe at says "hi" and many rude words...
Just a little. Like do I say "hey I'm the girl that's fucking your son, nice to meet you"
I'm armed with nothing but $4 lip gloss gum and my phone. Ready to take on the fucking world.
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