If he eats mayonnaise, he's not getting laid. End of story.
Yo I'm texting you while getting a bj. I know, I'm the man. Told her I was texting my mom in the hospital.
he let me wear his jacket and there was a magnum and a bowl in his pocket ... I think im in love
I really hope that wasn't actually his first time. Because if my first time was anything like that I would NEVER have sex again.
Did I ever tell u about how my buddy fucked peter coors's daughter and made a tshirt that said I TAPPED THE ROCKIES with her picture on it?
We are going out Saturday. Oh and we might also be jousting on bikes.
she's lying on the floor with a bottle of vodka, belting shakira. plz advise.
He only talks to me during the summer and it's probably because I let him fuck me in my pool last year.
Its not that I don't mind giving her as much as my penis as she wants, its the post sex cigarette I have to supply. Shits $9 a pack.
Put a tip jar next to your bed from now on.
Your good ideas are reason #4 we need to live together.
I'm eating ramen over the toilet. Fuck my life
IF WE WERE REALLY BEST FRIENDS FOREVER YOU GUYS WOULD AGREE TO A WATCHING A PORNO PARTY
Can you think of a sexual word rhyming with snorkel?
there is something very satisfying about getting tacos after hours of sex.
7% of guys ive been with can get me off... I did the math!
She didn't get a tit job, she's just wearing the right size bra for once
Randomize
