I don't understand why she insists on me walking her to the door. She came over for literally 8 minutes, we had sex, and now I need her to leave. That fake chivalry will change nothing about the situation.
I'm afraid that if I tell my sister I think Zachary Quinto is gay I'll have to put her on suicide watch for the next week or so
just went home with some hot chick. she has posters of the jonas brothers in her room. i basically ran out of the house.
I just tried to put my feet in my slippers and found cans of beer in them. Christmas in fucking july.
Have you ever had champagne poured on you during sex? It was like a rap video
In other news I saw a pack of make believe zombies walking down green st.
gotta love wednesdays
I think i can make this amish girl legitimately hot.
today's the one month anniversary of me not giving anyone head. can you tell me you're proud
it's sad that this is a milestone
you smelled like vodka, i think that's why my grandma liked you
I snorted xanax while wearing reindeer antlers. Prancer gone wild. Have a merry Christmas.
Got a snapchat from Megan last night showing you sobbing about a burrito on the floor with Dan in the background trying not to laugh his ass off
I swear, I make more use of my creative writing major with sexting than I do with anything else
I'm not wearing pants, but I'm wearing a tiara.
I'm pretty sure I smell like alcoholism and shame. And it's not a pretty scent.
I either have food poisoning or I'm pregnant. Either way, I NEED JESUS!
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