Gayer than 8 guys blowing 9 guys
wow, that really makes you stop and think.
I just walked through a room full of deaf people and farted i love deaf people
I accidentally burped into my bong.
I told my girl, that I use to jerk off to Star Trek. All she says is, "Oh my gawd, you're such a trekie!". If I was her, I'd be weirded out more than me being a Trek Fan.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
There really should be an "avoid ghetto" option on my GPS.
i upgraded from drunk texts to drunk e-mails...real world here i come
There are bruises on the top of my foot. The pole won.
ya i guess you have to take things with a grain of salt in a place where nipple clamps are the norm..
Mitt romney looks like a fantastic lover (full disclorsure: im 76% vodka right now)
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
Like wrapping my dick in silk, wrapping that in velvet, and putting it in a cloud. A warm, tight, wet cloud.
I'm hungover from arbor mist I'm so white
You know what? The sex was so bad that I don't even care that I gave him strep.
Didn't know where your dishes went. Put em in the bathtub. They're stacked taller than you. It's like modern art.
Drink. Fuck. Waffle House. Repeat.
I'm at home 4 xanax deep watching She's all that.. no I don't want to go out. The couch is eating me.
Randomize