Have fun with your cool freestyling girlfriend!
She can rap better than you any day
You don't give head? I'm offended and I don't even have a cock...
dude i woke up in a pile of chocolate chips. this has to stop happening
do you think women who transgender themselves have the option of getting a circumcised or an uncircumcised dick?
They're drinking Schnapps out of Spaghetti-o's cans. Please come pick me up.
I've never watched DWTS before, but this show's got Pamela Anderson, Erin Andrews and Brooke Burke: 3 of my top 10 all time most masturbated to women.
I'm sitting in front of the mirror eating cereal and pondering how my boobs got so big
Welcome to my life
I think I need to stop sleeping with him. Sex with him is just a reminder of the mediocrity of the rest of my life.
You were offering to spell people's name for a dollar.
We were hunting our best friend with a BB gun in the backyard. I'd say the vaporizer was a worthy investment at this point.
I'll be the Broncos and you be the Seahawks and you can pound the shit out of me.
When your hungover saltines taste like hope...
That's not "anything", that's you deep throating a mozzarella stick.
I need a job that does not involve working with people who wear animal costumes when they get fucked.
Woke up on a lawn chair hugging a bottle of vodka. Hows your morning so far?
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