I am going to fall madly in love with a ginger, marry the ginger and have lil ginger children running all around town. Oy
You shut your mouth
I just won Halloween Walk of Shame Bingo!
Farmville is her only friend.
No im just getting a road beer. You got my pants?
Jesus these cramps...it's like every potential fetus I swallowed last night is personally punching me in the uterus
I WILL NOURISH YOU WITH SOUP AND PENIS!!!!!! And a sandwich of your choosing.......you like turkey?
She just spat tequila at me... Like a fountain... A broken fountain
You're like Jane Goodall in a forest of gay men. Someday your autobiography will be called "Bottoms in the Mist".
Having boobs is probably the greatest thing in the world, free booze all around
DO YOU REALIZE HOW AWESOME MY GRANDMA WOULD BE IF SHE GOT HIGH
FUCK IM ABOUT TO GET A DICK PIC IN THE LIBRARY
I found a briefcase foll of fireworks in my old bedroom...that's an appropriate thing to bring to a wedding, right?
Look man if you're looking for a voice of reason, you're talking to the wrong woman.
My "lord keep me from stabbing a bitch" prayer has gotten a lot of miles today
I really don’t want to have kids.
I thought we agreed we were done with dirty talk for the day
We probably are going to die. So. Thanks for agreeing to be my Maid of Honor even though I torture you.
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