So ps i'm not pregnant with any athletes illegitimate children : )
she was drooling, sharted in her sleep, rolled over stuck her hand under the covers pulled it back out, smelled it and moaned and rolled back over. i almost added puke to the disgusting bodily fluid category.
make sure to take notes today. there is a guy in a wheelchair who might be getting a DUI from a cop on horseback. I'm gonna see this through.
Acid is not a monday night drug
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
i found a twelve pack under my bed. and a six pack in my closet. I'm like a fucking alcoholic squirrel.
well at least you didnt have sex with him. i feel like a proud mother. you always have sex with them.
The drugstore has summer clearance. I bought you a little mermaid bucket. Now your hangovers will feel more like childhood adventures.
I told him I was very thankful for what his country has done to my vagina and walked away.
I think weed is turning my hair brown
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
I'd just like to inform you. That when I was at bvj the first day I was blackout drunk by noon. Get on past Chelsea's level like now. Do it for present Chelsea
it was an ACCIDENT
it was a DICK
i doubt you are even in possession of a crowbar.
I suggest you not find out the hard way
We were trying to organize all the customers to hold a window pickle race. as of 10:37 pm last night we are no longer allowed in our McDonalds.
How are you and the lady friend?
Well, she's a lunatic, and I love sex, so we're good.
Just sent a nude with the caption "seasons greetings from our family to yours"
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