Send those Picts to my email please. From last night
Ps thx for the porn on my phone
;) ur welcome
dude, she has braces
i meant the dude w the ponytail.
i was less creeped out when i thought you were talking about the 14 y.o.
Ummmm I went to see who was upstairs, he was the only one in his room so we had sex while the travel channel played in the background.
Oh good. Romantic. Still, I'm jealous of the sex.
Probably not, since he made me promise not to tell anyone it only lasted ten seconds.
The spoon I was using to ice my hickey just fell out of my purse while i was paying at the liquor store. I look like an alcoholic with a meth problem.
how the hell did this chicken wing end up in my cast?!
I'm just walking around Lowe's groping the carpets....
Just say the word and u can be elbow deep in this glorious rack
This is why I love you...
Going through my bras is like traveling back in time through my past hookups and relationships....
He said "send me a motivational picture" so I sent one with mayo on my face that said "clearly I'm no stranger to white stuff on my face"...I'm the fuckingng worst
Hypothetically speaking...if I was arrested in Wisconsin, say Kenosha county, would you post my bail all the way from Oregon? If yes, will you also accept my collect call in t-minus 13 hours?
I think he just shit his pants. Yep he did. That's unfortunate.
Unexpected pro of the hostel though: literally down the street from Coors Field. I could literally fart on the building in five minutes.
Bug bite on my vagina. I think we need to stop this 'sex in awesome places campaign.'
Cops swarmed my car last night in the walmart parking lot cause of the paper plate
the coup got in the way of sex but inauguration day came thru we did it joe
Randomize
