Cleveland boys shit in their own pumpkins in their own living room. Got pictures to prove it.
I'm heating up a hotdog using a candle.
So in Aca Taco on grad night 1am, this bitch walks in alone drunk as fuck in her gown to the front of the line and says, "I graduated today...thank YOU"
She's trying to put on her dog muzzle on her self
The sex was so bad. I kept sending people snapchats of my face during it.
I didn't know your ex looked like a male Khloe Kardashian?
Could we try to replay the decision making process whereby only you and I bought and drank a keg this weekend? Because there were some fundamental flaws!
There is an alarming amount of food in my bra.
My brother just text me asking if I was ready for the blowjob of my life.
That is romantic
Well sometimes you just gotta put your dicks and pizzas together to show you care
I'd rather have snapchat than feelings.
I'm jealous, curious, and aroused. All at the same time.
My job here is done.
So i woke up this morning to find my boss passed out on my living room floor.. Awkward? Haha
Oh, do you remember telling everyone you were with that your vagina was angry last night?
They just canceled the season. It’s going to be harder to bang soccer moms this year
Randomize
