So I'll spare the details, but I think I discovered I'm lactose intolerant. In my sleep. And you'll be needing new sheets.
Maybe I need a light up heart over my vagina like Christina aguilera to get the point across
You mean 'full wolf form' wasn't a drunk text?
My favorite part was walking in the bathroom, you fixing yourself in the mirror, calling your reflection a fag, then throwing a haymaker into the paper towel dispenser before going back out to the bar.
You're so wise. You're like my sexual Grandmother Willow.
I'm glad we have the kind of friendship where if either of us is too drunk to fuck a hot guy, we pass the responsibility to each other and get the job done.
I just re read that. We really need to get our lives together.
I bet it kind of sucks while you do community service I'm getting blown in the shower. haha
I'm drunk, we're losing, and I'm in the visitors stands. This is about to get ugly.
What is soo wrong about a house of half-naked people hugging each other and laughing?
The pinata full of drugs?
Just killed a snake in my bed! And by killed I mean hit repeatedly with my fist. And by snake I mean a lump in the covers. And I pissed my pants.
It was like, once I started flashing you, I couldn't stop.
You "drove" the computer chair around the party for a good fifteen minutes. you would crash into things, freak out, and yell for an ambulance.
Yah. I'm gonna lay you down and feed you grapes, except I'm gonna replace grapes for my balls
Me and my dad hot boxed a hotel bathroom... That's what I call father son bonding
My boobs are too perky to pay that much for a car
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