I'm not sure how exactly, but this funeral has turned into a ridiculous night of drinking games
YOU GOT KICKED OUT OF FIVE GUYS LAST NIGHT FOR THROWING PEANUTS AT THE PEOPLE WHO WORK THERE?!
correction: escorted out
You have all of her herpes and none of my sympathy
He was so drunk he was throwing the bowling balls into other lanes on purpose. He still beat my high score thought.
Would fucking the college coach be against recruiting rules?
So apparently I ended up throwing my clothes in the toilet after getting kicked out of TQ and ran around the neighborhood in my boxers. Works gonna suck hard once this hangover kicks in. Also: I lost a shoe so looks like flipflops for the rest of winter
note to self: shower sex when you have 7 stitches in your leg is never a good idea. never.
Do u like your dick pics shot in hotdog or hamburger orientation?
Dude Carly, it's like, inconvinent how often you cause me to have an erection
Currently watching Zombie Sharks while high. This is why I love Shark Week.
You were hitting on girls while wearing the banana suit. When they rejected you you yelled "I gotta split anyway."
I mean it could have been worse, I could have been sober.
He screamed, "Let there be light!" when he came
if I was a good friend this would be the time that i would remind you that you have a boyfriend
when i woke up with rugburns on the tops of my feet, knees, and chin i was a little confused. and then i remembered i had sex with him in his friends walk in closet.
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