yeah my walk of shame consisted of driving on the wrong side of the road at 6am still drunk with cum drying in my hair and left eye.
Getting 10 cents back for every can is really just encouraging alcoholism.
just got dressed up for chatroulette- THAT desperate.
Less talking, more tequila
she crawled under her car and passed out. Unfortunately her feet were sticking out and someone called 911 because they thought she had been run over.
you can't tell me it's over and send me pics of you and your cat?
Not sure how a movie about Jesus has managed to make me feel insecure about my boobs but it has.
She left a blanket, pillow, a glass of water, and two advils in the bathroom for me. It's like she knew. Best room mate ever.
Pain in my heart, regret in my vagina
Gay bathhouses. They're actually a thing. So god does exist. And he doesn't hate me as much as you think he does
this night just went from meh to biblical thanks to drunk naked yahtzee
I HAVE DISCOVERED LONDON AND IT FILLS ME WITH JOY
I will go to bed dreaming of sexy Olympians carting me on a throne to the beach where they feed me pizza and champaign and massage my head/wash it like the hair dresser does.
You threw up at the outdoor bar and it was pretty...astonishing just how much can come out of such a small human.
Officially not baby mama #3. Celebration is in order.
Randomize
