GO HOME AND LIKE EVERYTHING ON COLT'S FACEBOOK UNTIL 2007.
Wtf it's a Friday night?
PRIORITIZE.
today is monday, i feel like we should do something illegal
She was the most uninteresting drunk I've met
He started to notice that i sleep with every girl he calls dibs on.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
I woke up to him drunk-t-bagging me, saying "huevos rancheros" were being served for breakfast.
Rule #127: If your going to try fuck a married guy, you gotta be hotter then his wife; diet starts today.
I just karate chopped a humming bird out of mid air. It came at my face while I was out side smoking. Scared the shit out of me. My ninja skills just took over. Haha. I mean really at that point it was me or him.
You know it was a weird night when you find curly fries in your purse the next morning...
I just heard your voicemail. Glad you like my dick and think I'm cool
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
I just gotta say that I feel so much better now that I got some. I mean I feel like a normal functioning adult ready to contribute to society.
just turned another straight guy gay. Goddamn the church must hate me
Wanna go get tea? Warning: I will be high in an hour.
You know. You being in a happy healthy relationship is REALLLYY cutting into our drinking alone together time.
Apparently last night I was doing back bends for the guy making my easy mac because clearly it wasn't easy enough for me.
you missed a good time last night.
you texted me at 10 telling me to come fuck you, that says enough.
Randomize