you're like the ceasar milan of boners... you understand them on a different level.
It's pretty bad when the convenient store clerk can tell you that you're earlier than usual for visiting the store.
he asked me if i wanted "a hit" off his inhaler. its definitely time for a new roommate
and then he put stevie wonder on to fuck to...and hummed along as I blew him
We have literally factored in $2200 for bail money in the budget. This vegas trip will be out of hand. We are signing confidentiality contracts.
Do your friends by chance have our inflatable deer head?
Nevermind, it's in the dryer.
Apparently we both projectiled on Erin at the same time.
That's some true roommate bonding right there.
so the photographer said "let's get a picture of the cousins" so we posed together, and then he said " lets get a picture of the couples" So we posed together.
WHAT IF you could get pizza delivered to you IN YOUR CAR while driving somewhere. Like moving roadside service.
You're High aren't you?
Sooooo high
Jusy read on a science page that squeezing boobs can prevent cancer cells from forming in them, youre welcome.
She actually purred while I was balls deep in her! I have never been so proud to buy plan b at 6:30 in the morning.
What the hell happened to my hand?
Well, you got in a fight with a cabbie while jaywalking, but we got you to walk away. The problem was 80 blocks away, when you punched a parked taxi for "running you over".
New life goal: fuck in the shopping cart
Do you wanna fuck while my apple pie is in the oven?
He went down on me and then made me breakfast in bed. He's a man you can bring home to mom.
Randomize
