you lied vaginas dont taste like gold fish!
noo i said youre golden if her vagina tastes like fish!
Ryan Ross and Jon Walker left panic at the disco today.
I predict a mass suicide of the 14 year old girl population...
you threw your tampon into someones open car window...while they were driving.
naighbors jacking off again. i swear its his friday night ritual, its like he knows the night wont be ending in his favor
so far i wrote 500 words for a paper on sean paul performing we be burnin..i can officially do anything on adderral
I just peed in the Schreyer honors college shrubbery. Thanks honors students, you're finally good for something
I'm going to see if it catches on fire again, then I'll make the decision.
Her brother is definitely not gay. I hooked up with him when she was sleeping.
I just threw out a whole Christmas ham, 12 positive pregnancy tests, 3 empty vodka bottles and by ex boyfriends Latina porn collection in the same garbage bag. The homeless person who goes through the bins tonight knows I have nothing left to loose.
Had sex with him again...yikes. and the whole time he kept saying "i wish we could do this forever." Forever lasted about 45 seconds
Cover your phone. Photos of streaking frat guys incoming.
We were basically fucking on the dance floor. People kept buying us drinks. It really only encouraged us.
He threw me over his shoulder and carried me outside, all the while drinking from the bottle of rum he was holding, while my ex watched. I'm winning the break-up.
he drank half a bottle of bushmills, stood up to pee over the side, pissed his pants, sat in the puddle on the deck, told me my life goals were stupid and impossible, and wouldn't leave until 5am. by the time I got up at 8 I had 4 texts and 2 fb messages from him. AND HE STILL THINKS IT WENT WELL
sober me is not impressed with the quality of people that drunk me gives our phone number to
Randomize
