It's like I'm the Little Bo Peep of sheparding dicks.
Only someone with your twisted mind could come up with that simile. Do you sit around and read 'How to turn Beloved Childrens Stories into Sexual Analogies?' This is the 3rd time you've done this.
i am devastated. she was DTF and I was about to puke, i told her to wait outside my room for a second. Puked. Passed out woke up, she was gone. Found puke stains on my keyboard that seem to spell out youporn....
Law school is ruining my masturbation schedule.
Guy next to me is looking up how to press his own ecstasy pills. I'm going to befriend him and see where this goes
It's like I'm in a vicious cycle of noncommittal penis.
I sold weed for gas money to get home. I thought that's what college was for.
Just found a g string in our driveway, wtf happened this weekend?
Come part with me. By you sleep! No fun. Idek feelings Sorry for your life.
Just found a pack of birth control on the corner of Oakland and Thomas, so if your desperate its up for grabs.
It takes a special kind of man to fart REALLY loudly right before entering a woman and still get some. This has been a state of bootytown address.
We decided to keep having sex while I ordered the pizza. I wanted extra pepperoooooooooooooni.
Plus, I have my cousin, the dominatrix, to help me out if things get out of hand
i just hope we're both dead or in prison at the same time
Apparently I made a chicken patty, angrily took it out of the microwave, walked outside, and threw it over the balcony. #me
I'll be naked. By 11. Then arrested. Drunk tank adventures
Randomize
