problem. drunk. stepbrother hitting on me again. help.
remember them days when you seriously wanted your mom to marry rev run and we would always talk shit about justine?
joeyyyy why you always taken cheeseburgers from me?!?!?!
Lost is over, my longest committed relationship is coming to an end.
What would you have done with a 40 foot neon parrot anyway?
I just realized that he was my first random hookup that didnt cause a massive breakup or divorce. Im starting to grow up
Please know that I fully expect you to help me steal a bed if I have a bad breakup.
i get of class at 4. it takes me 17 minutes to walk home and 3 to load a bowl. thank you, priority registration.
oh, i've got big weekend plans. on an unrelated note, do you think viagra will work if the guy is roofied?
Before I roll over explain to me why you're naked and on my floor.
he said he did everything he could to puke on his nurses because they were doing everything wrong
Thats admirable.
hey the jello shots wont freeze
How much Everclear did you put in them?
uhhh all of it
listen. he fixes things. buys me drinks and sticks his penis in my vagina. age means nothing at this low point in my life.
My car has a permanent smell of sex to it now.
Vomit your little heart out. You've got a long day tomorrow
Even if they did assume we were doing kinky shit, it's not like they're gonna be like, "HALT SATAN! INTAKE SOME JESUS AND VOMIT YOUR SINS!"
Randomize
