I must be too annoying 4 u.
Today's life lesson: fat girls should not wear tight miniskirts and vinyl leggings. This Forever 21 salesgirl is a hot mess.
I just want you to know the floor between our rooms isnt sound proof "Captain Cock"
I dont know whats worse: her telling me she was so drunk i was "almost sexy," the fact that even when theyre shitfaced, im just "almost sexy" to girls, or the fact that i wasnt that offended by it.
i ditched last period to have sex with him. i had to change into my skank clothes in the church parking lot. little kids were on the swings.
nothing about this is right.
Just so you know I would totally fuck you. Does that count as a feeling?
Hospital. He tried giving some kid a stone cold stunner during a real fight.
Of course the bar would go completely silent right as I yell out "I don't have AIDS"
I'm approaching homosexuality at an increasingly alarming rate with each break up.
You're the only person I know who would be upset about making out with a girl you like. You're like a drunken Charlie Brown.
I walking on her passed out on her bed, clutching a burrito and the walking dead dvd on replay.
I accidentally sent him a snapchat of my boobs and now we're going on a date tomorrow... Could be worse.
He came on my face and he was genuinely concerned about getting it in my hair. I'm marrying him.
I just bought sparkling water with plan B. I am the most basic bitch to ever exist.
Your dick. My mouth. We have 20 minutes.
Randomize
