i either just vomited on a lesbian or a small boy
i'm at a stripclub and this bitch just lit her nipples on fire!
Is it 'vaginas' or 'vaginae?'. Either way there were a shit ton of them.
he was dropping me off and i told him i had to go to the bathroom and i leaned into kiss him and he asked how i went to the bathroom with a tampon up there... he was amazed that their was a third hole...and wanted me to show him where it was
I found out what happened to that girls weave last night. It was draped over a bush in my backyard.
Mid way while flirting with this super hot chick at the bar, he gets up and says no thanks I'm only 19 and gay just waiting for my buddy to hurry up and get with your friend.
After hearing her fall down in the shower for the third time, I decided to go check on her.
I am not being the messenger for your booty call.
I spoon fed you cheerios when you were black out drunk. You owe me one.
My gut feeling that we had reached a new level of intimacy last night was confirmed early this morning when you sleep farted on penis.
My philosophy is thug life and that means never having to say your sorry for stealing drinks off tables
He said he was Greek American and that is why my legs slammed shut. During the World Cup there are only Americans.
I don't think stranger penis made your tonsils bleed
Can you come get me? I woke up in the woods behind the Super 8. I have pizza.
Banged former boss. Adulthood achievement unlocked.
He’s older
Like “has a job and pays his bills” older or “still watches porn on DVD because he can’t figure out the Internet” older?
Randomize
