Theres this fat girl in desperate need of the proactive factory in my class and as i watch her shovel food in her face I am struggling to not only keep down my meager lunch but also to stay straight. Eliza Dushku couldnt even get my flacid dick to move
never thought i'd see a ''climb of shame'' until she came down from the attic in front of the whole party..
Please do NOT set off the smoke alarm when I am tied to the bed like this...
The swelling on my elbow and tongue means I may have cockblocked myself.
As i looked at his penis, it stared back into my soul. No more drinking games.
Well, it's either jungle juice or memory of the night... It's unfortunate I can't have both
I miss yesterday.Today's hangover makes yesterday's look like a little girl with blonde ringlets playing hopscotch in the street with a ginger kitten.
The object of the game was to pour tequila into a sombrero and drink as much as you can before it leaked through, 'Big Papi' won.
I'm drunk at 3:28
I'm jealous as shit at 3:34
You're about to makeout with my vagina, I don't think she cares that you haven't brushed your teeth. Just get over here!
This bird just went for my eyes. Does he think I'm dead???
My dog just ran downstairs with my vibrator in her mouth... during my dad's birthday dinner.
You'll never fully grasp an awkward walk of shame until you run into his mom while you're trying to sneak out. Then to make matters worse you have to ask her to mover car because it's blocking you in.
and I lost my effing shirt.
She grabbed the other one and started playing tug-o-war against the blonde chick. I told you getting my nipples pierced was a good idea
They have a shelf full of jello shots, what have i gotten myself into
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