honestly, who buys weed with an unemployment check?
you.
oh yeah. preciate
Yeah. I hotboxed a windbreaker.
there are so many fish in the see you have left to fuck
So theres a slight possibility i may not graduate according to planned because i was out getting laid instead of studying. And im okay with that.
He literally had no idea who I was, so he made me turn around 360 degrees and when he saw my ass, he blurted out my first AND last name.
yeah, he just sent me a picture of himself with his shirt off.... It didnt turn me on, it just made me want to buy him a big mac....
I still think it's messed up that you're naming your kids after all the guys you slept with in college
mary just dropped the yahtzee dice in her wine. and shes throwin em like shes on a craps table.
hahahaha slap the bag.
Hooked up with 8 guys, puked 4 times, got a few bruises, and my face is still numb... I think this visit has truly impacted my college decision
I opened up my wallet and it was filled with puke.
took off my bra and popcorn fell out of it. im gonna puke at this wedding...
I'm going to need a Jurassic park sized pooper scooper to deal with all this shit last night caused.
After tacos, we're chasing women.
Even with help how did you paint a bullseye around your asshole?
My dad called me in the middle of the night, drunk on vodka, asking for references on the Irish alphabet.
Randomize
