Sometimes your consistent use of proper punctuation makes me nervous D:
Life lesson: Don't give a drunk girl a dutch oven after having taco bell. She puked all over my pillow. Funny as hell though.
No - a douche bag is not a fashion accessory. They do not make Gucci Douchebags
i just made a girl do the walk of shame. as a bumblebee. i love halloween.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
I just had a dream where Bob Saget recognized me from when I hung out with him in a dream I had months ago.
the outcome of this sandwich determines whether or not i do anything else with my day..
I always forget that visiting my hometown is like a who's who of ugly people.
If someone made a breakfast cereal that was a cross between lucky charms and fruity pebbles and called it unicorn power with a huge fucking rainbow and a unicorn standing in a pot of gold on the box, they would be rich. Not only monetarily but spiritually as well...
I went shopping for a dress that was baptism and bar appropriate.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
I hope you get a lego stuck in your dickhole
YOU LICKED MY MAKEUP OFF.
I HAD TO TAKE A SHOT OF JAGER AND SOME REDBULL JUST TO SEE IF IT’LL MAKE MY MOUTH FEEL BETTER
PS I almost downloaded grindr to see if any guys wanted to buy me chinese food..
He said he loved me more than Kel loves orange soda
the result of growing up in the '90's
I just found a nug casually in my room under my duffel bag. Is this a sign I need help?
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