Bristol Palin says: Remember to use protection
note to self..putting cheap vodka in a bottle of grey goose does not make it taste better
Just discovered Kim Possible porn. Life is now complete.
Tonight we are playing Scuba-Keg. Getting keg now. I'll explain when i get home.
Doing "bucket stands" with buckets of margarita. Don't tell me it's not a good idea.
Let's turn this shoulder dislocation into a positive. Come to the hospital, bring some beers, let's party.
Only time i ever look at my online banking statement is to see when i left the bar.
Thank you for holding my bra last night while i did a topless lap around the house
Registered sex offender is the model in class today.... There are too many things wrong with him getting naked in front of a lot of college students.
Making drunken Mac n cheese at 3 am I understand why witches constantly stir their cauldrons. Much more homogenized temperature and slim chance of boiling over. Good job witches.
You're a five foot adderall and caffeine fueled ball of sexual frustration and suppressed rage. It's only a matter of time before you snap. We're taking bets on when.
LIKE ALL I WANT TO CURE MY HANGOVER IS PORKROLL AND LIKE 85% OF THIS COUNTRY DOESN'T KNOW WHAT IT IS
She was on top, but I lost her at "alright, you look like predator."
I want to strut with the confidence of a pigeon.
Two words: nipple clamps
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