you just can't say no to drugs on a mirrored table.
She got a tattoo in memory of her cat, my attratcion to her is no more.
i'm sorry i gave your brother a handjob while you were on the blanket next to us, but to be fair your back was turned.
I am on a roof. I'm not sure which one, or why, or how, but I am on a roof and you should come get me. I can see info classrooms!
I tried to stop that, but then I pulled the leaves out of my panties and went to sleep.
So much for doing Irish car bombs in my grandpa's memory.... Asshole.
Checked my photo vault today... My self nudie folder is passing the 150 mark.
The weird thing is that you don't send them to anyone. You just keep them for yourself...
At this point I think you're just judging my taste in men
Pretty sure I was impersonating Rihanna when I kept asking him what my name was while we were making out
I'm gonna have to shit in a bar again tonight
You're like my little fucked up version of the groundhog seeing its shadow, only it's boobs and warm weather.
Marrying her is the worst scenario of any. That includes death and zombies.
Got caught peeing in public. Sucks. It was a police station. Sucks worse.
you were so high you just watched the elf.... its spring
If you shit your pants and not say anything about it right before we have sex one more time I'm dumping you.
Randomize
