have you ever noticed that homeless people never have acne. suck it proactive
So apparently when I roll on X I find 'dick ina box' not only hilarious but also sexually arousing.
I know the vomits not mine cause its on my back.
just looked at his mug shot... not really my type
Before I dignify that with an answer, let me get this straight. You're asking me if I wiped my ass on the towels?
I find out next week of the Australian was lying about his vasectomy or not. Keep your fingers crossed!
Its what happens when I drink whiskey in a sweater. It makes me feel mature and ponderful.
After the 3rd shot, she was running around singing, "Twinkle Twinkle Big Ol' Dick, on your happy place I'll sit" to your brother.
Put that bitch's torch out. She's been voted off.
Toppless hop-scotch needs to become a competitive sport
apparently when she asked me how drunk I was on a scale of 1-10, I answered "bitch I'm fabulous" and tried to do a sassy hairflip. but I have short hair.
I got caught throwing up in my daughters princess potty... On the bright side it played a rewarding tune afterwards.
Uber southern baptist grandma and uber flaming cousin just got into an argument about whether jesus is OK with gay marriage. Aren't these things only supposed to happen at Thanksgiving?
i don't care if you are my best friend. does not give you the right to describe how well my sister gives blowjobs.
how about your cousin?
i just read a article called "Booze, Drugs, and Bipolar Disorder"... i think someone is writing the memoirs of my life
Getting a smaller wine glass hasn’t changed the amount I drink—it just means I get more steps each day. Cheers to health!
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