I'm convinced her vagina is similar to chernobyl, but I want to visit it for the novelty value anyway.
Let me guess--your parents are cousins.
what is college for if not random hookup sex?
learning.
i would literally fuck learning if i could.
A lesson I learned in the hospital....when you masturbate while attached to a heart monitor, it scares the nurses a lot.
You were wasted and fell in a pond when you met him, it's not like you were on top of your game
She alternated between blowing me and feeding me bites of the sandwich she made for me.
You. Me. Frosting and a bed. Lets do this.
i accidenteley seduced the christian girl's brother so i dont think we can count on free church picnic food again
You just kept yelling and saying, "IM NOT GOING TO STOP YELLING UNTIL YOU TAKE THAT SHOT"
I found my limit. I will not, in fact, blow my 78 year old professor for an A in his class.
I'm going to get high and eat ice cream until the pain goes away. You're welcome to join.
His weed is so good that I don't wanna risk loosing him as my weed man so I plan to keep him in the friend zone 😂
Sorry I wasn't opportunistic about sucking your dick in an Uber last night
He just went to a job interview a sharpie moustache drawn on his face..
I just got a rock from a customer. Weirdest. Tip. Ever.
Randomize
