So she started giving everyone lap dances, and i was like "i think i like this chick"
the can pyramid on my head actually reached a decent height before I moved.
Just quiet vomiting, and in between heaves she mumbled "be the pro"
Are you absolutely against sleeping in your car? Because i've done that before.
Well last time he got out of rehab he lasted 6 hours. So 3 days this time is quite an accomplishment.
There's a girl in the bathroom crying about something having to do with cream cheese.
I legit had a 15 minute convo about dinosaurs with a guy at the bar last night cuz he was wearing a jurassic park shirt
You asked the bartender if she was trying to get you drunk. She cut you off after that.
Where did you go?
I'm not really sure. They have flavored vodka. I like it and I'm never leaving. Ever.
you missed 2am bagpipes and my roommate looking hot as fuck in a kilt
Anyway, all that to say that tiny penises are a hassle.
There is a couple fucking in the outback bathroom and at first I thought it was sick but than I remembered my Outback fantasy with you and decided I can't pass judgements.
I was sprawled on his bed and heard him and a girl walk in the apartment. I jumped out the window and am walking down main street wrapped in an american flag blanket. Can you pick me up?
I think I kinda scared him when I tried to wrap his snake around his dick while he was trying to nap.
we used a blowdryer last night to warm up our left over pizza..it worked perfectly at first..but then the chili powder got into his eyes..
Randomize
