seriously this is one of those moments where im glad i dont really talk to or know the people i sleep with
Well said.
Actions speak louder than words. Her actions scream crazy.
She called it mighty mouse.. And from there it was down hill
I had never watched a guy jack off to me before, but let me tell you, it was a very uncomfortable experience.
When you're on the hood of a car, 10 mph feels pretty fucking fast.
Dude I still wanna know who I had sex with on new years eve
So i learned you can't hair-of-a-dog jaeger hangovers.
I only remembered where urgent care was because it's across the street from my favorite bar
And I really REALLY don't feel like cleaning cinnamon off my penis tonight.
i made this one couple from ohio so uncomfortable that they left....and that was WHEN I HAD PANTS ON
We tried to play tennis but after about 15 minutes we gave up and fucked against the fence. Woulda been a cute third date so of course I had to ruin it.
I asked him for something to clean up with after sex and he handed me a sham wow. A SHAM WOW
At this point, I'd date an ax murderer. So long as he doesn't cry all the time, have ED, or leave me with his unspayed cat. My list of requirements is becoming increasingly specific.
All I remember about last st pattys day was I was in a bathtub with full bubbles, fully clothed, drinking out of a flamingo lawn ornament that someone cut a hole in.
Not entirely sure how I got drunk off 2 mimosas but here I am
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