Can't talk. I'm at the Tulsa Sheriff's office with a bunch of rednecks. I bet I'm the only one that voted for Obama.
I bet you're the only one who could read the ballott.
apparently 20 random guys watched the process of me being carried on a mattress through the dorms
The one from last night got me a whole floor of Eskimo Brothers. There was a celebration of high fiving as I left
The liquor store manager told us to drink responsible as we checked out and we laughed to his face. Like we're buying karkov at noon, responsibility is out of the question
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
The couple that wants to take me home just paid the bartender $100 to pour tequila down my throat. I think I'm in some type of twilight zone where stds run rampant and the alcohol floweth
Waking up with a sore back because you put the team on it for jager pong all night
I just got a call from the front desk apparently one of my feiends was dropped off by a handicap bus passed out in a wheel chair unlv is goig down
If I don't have hickies that last till tuesday, I didn't do this weekend right
Woke up on the couch with one cowboy boot on and a hat over my crotch. God bless texas.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
It happened to me once. But i washed off in a duck pond and walked home naked.
Oh Jesus. Are you going to the hospital?
No I'm showering then leaving for Vegas
I can only get day drunk because of my medicine now, so... There's that
I just realized that this is the first time I've ever seen your mom without sucking your cock.
I added our drug dealer to the quickbooks software babe, he is listed under vendor's as an expense category... money management is such a bitch...
Just let a guy I just met eat me out in a shed at a baby shower. May have sunk to a brand new low
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