and then she yelled "im going to fuck the next guy that walks by me". so ya thats how i lost my virginity
this is hardly the first time i've been told i'm dressed "too suggestively" for 7 in the morning.
i just realized that the oil change sticker on my windshield is a day before the last time i had sex. I've driven exactly 10500 miles since.
you need to get laid.. and an oil change.
I still cannot believe I yelled at every guy at the bar "you wanna get in this clam?!"
I added "don't hook up with boys with girlfriends" to my new years resolution and realized how sad it was that it made me actually feel like a better person
You have proved your worthiness to join me on the quest of taking shots at every academic building on campus by showing up drunk to our test at 12:30 today
You were in your third change of clothes, and I found you in my driveway passed out with my dog's food bowl. You win.
We haven't even scratched the surface on the damage we could do. Just saying
100% truth: never tied someone to a bed using 4 pairs of sweatpants before
Just had the "whores are people too" talk with Mom. Bright side it's Christmas, and I may have been drunk, I don't think she caught on.
It doesn't feel like real life when you open your hotel room door and the first person you see is wearing a rabbit costume. I'm too hungover for this.
How do you say "thats kinda illegal" in thai?
I was desperate and wasn't about to let my cereal get soggy so I ate it on the toilet. Don't let me repeat last night.
So I was laying on the couch reading a book and he texted me. All I saw was the image of him spitting on my vagina last night in the moonlight. I gagged.
Dad hid the hash somewhere in my room and wont tell me where it is until i clean it. My room is spotless. The hash was on the ceiling fan...
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