So we've decided on 'hamburger' as your code for tonight. If you add ketchup or fries, we know the threat level has escalated.
Haha so you are never gonna want to meet my mom now...she just found your thong in her front seat
her teeth looked like a whores toenails, i was too horrified to
It was annoying to wait 4 hour for him to be inside for 5 seconds.
sorry i couldnt make it to your birthday last night. i admit i chose being a whore over you.
She said, and I quote "how do you run with something that big between your legs".
HE IS COURTING ME WITH CHINESE FOOD AND IT IS WORKING.
Toppless hop-scotch needs to become a competitive sport
You might have been able to redeem yourself had you not referred to grandma as "this bitch".
That explains the hand print on my face. That old lady knows how to throw a punch.
I had jack at 8 am= instant drunk
I was stretching naked in the middle of my room singing "Somewhere Over the Rainbow", apparently this is what I do when I'm high and the wifi goes out
He sent me a snap of him eating a tamale shirtless. I think I might be in love.
LOCK HIM DOWN.
Not even a manhunt keeps my brother and his friends from the bars
Can you see if my straightener is in your refrigerator?
Yes. Its here..
Sometimes you have good days, sometimes m you delete 360 screenshots off your camera roll.
Randomize
